Guys, let's compare + discuss

First of all, I might not know what I'm talking about but don't we look like Crosby, Stills and Nash here?



Second, remember this wedding cake?



Doesn't it look like someone else's cake?

No? Is that too much of a stretch?

Maybe Eliot + Alisa's cake is the 1992 version . . .

. . . of the White Stripes cake Mich + Niall sported 15 years later

(can you believe I don't have a better photo of them cutting the cake? Disgraceful.)

But there were other similarities:
both weddings had black as one of the colors
both weddings had @lisa there helping to get stuff done
both were the opposite of boring AKA the happiest nights of my life

But only ONE had

The Pink Jammie

(unless, @lisa, you can dig up more photos from your wedding to prove me wrong)

You Know Why I Want a Baby?

So I can do stuff like this:



I'm sick of using cats.

Monkey's Birthday Today

Do you know what happens when our friend (but really she's family) Lucie gets involved with Ash's birthday?

Just . . . .

MAGIC

and a rooftop Spa


with adorable employees

And 2 Cakes on Fire

A good time was had by all - esp the birthday girl.

Recent Email from MONKEY . . .

I won't tell you what the subject like was b/c it would highly offend our lady mother.

Here's Ash's email reaction to the post where I put awesome photos of her:


"individual(s) who do so are full susceptible" is not what i wrote.
" *fully* susceptible" is what i wrote.
But after those pictures...
All is lost. There goes the presidency. There goes honorary doctorate degree candidate...
(at Hershey's University).
pbbst.
Good thing only 2 (non-family) people read your blog.
Ever.


Ha! I don't speak lawyer so I have no idea what this means.

What?
Just because I like to post photos of her sickly?
But she looked so pretty stumbling around her apt super doped up.


She was so sweet, she even wrote about a 'joke' she'd play on me:
"send Robert Patterson pictures/letter from you in all your worship of his great body of work (Dali- to Harry Potter to vampire films) with a personally magazine-letters-cut-out note from you that's not at all creepy...and won't result in his team of security congratulating you on your creativity by showing up at your doorstep."

March got another Birthday

Seriously - how many people were born in March?!
And why do I love them all?

This is Little Kitten MacKenzie

I video chatted with her and started to cry. How could a baby be born and already know so much about technology? It made me wish I was smarter.

I'm going to be a Godmother to little Kitty Cat so I can now dress up a baby like this and not get in trouble:

And I can also finally justify my flying-with-an-umbrella habit

Chances are - if you were born in March I am going to like you an Awful lot.

And just in case you thought I forgot my Monkey sister - you were Wrong!

Ah March . . . When Monkey becomes a Lawyer

I love March Postings - because I post something and then I get a hilarious email from Ash asking me to delete a post or stop copying her private emails onto my blog . . . Just hilarious.

I've been super good this year and I still get Emails from her with THIS at the bottom:

(c) Monkey Productions 2010. This really important memo may not be duplicated, replicated, or distributed in any way possible, any individual(s) who do so are full susceptible to the consequences of state and governmental law and repercussions thereof as suitable in a court of any circuit, including fabricated daytime television honorary, and hereby indemnify the sender of any such email from consequences resulting in the aforementioned violations.
And this message will self-destruct in 5 seconds.


As if I really want to embarrass her . . .


. . .via email . . .


that's what photos are for!




yeah, you better start letting me use the emails you send. . .


because I have PLENTY more where these came from.

"Leg!"

PS Monkey's Party Info

So I don't know who I invited and who I didn't but everyone and their mom (but NOT their pets) are invited.

Ash's 142 West End Ave #2R
Sunday March 21 at 6:30PM (18:30hrs)

Ash is having a non Surprise Bday party

I sent out invites for Monkey's Party (anyone reading this can/must come) & forgot 1 person - ASH.
So she asked me nicely to put her on the list & then I forgot. She asked again but then I had to eat cookie dough - so then this morning I get a Happy St. Patterson Day email

(you know why if we're friends)

with the nice little Post Script.

"PS -- Can you Please invite me to my own Flippin BDAY PARTY?!"

She's so funny.

Now Let's talk about 2 of my sisters

So @lisa (AKA Mother Teresa On Speed) tried her hand at fondant.

She sent an email with this photo:
It was for an auction & the decor for that night was Mich's wedding colors.

So she sent me, ASH and Mich an email telling us about the cake making process.
She told Mich, "Thinking of you. . .GET THE EPIDURAL whatever you do."

Which made me laugh but I think she was being serious because Mich is going to have a lady or a boy any second now. Wait!? Is that a secret?

@lisa also wrote:
"P.S. Ringo and Percy say, 'Meow.' "

Which is only funny because I don't like animals.


This is what Monkey wrote:

That's not an "attempt" that's a showdown!
That cake is the love child of Louis Vuitton, Alice in Wonderland, + Mitch's wedding!
It's perfect.
Now you can retire.
From EVERYTHING!
Go. Sleep.


@lisa won't listen though - she WON'T sleep (& it's not 'cause she watches movies all night like I do) and it makes me crazy. It's not like she's going to rest in heaven because she's going to hell.
Just kidding.
I am.
Just kidding.
Hell doesn't exist.

. . . but she won't rest after she dies - which is why she should slack off now. It's so obvious!

Watching the Oscars with Monkey . . .

AM: Is he gay?

ASH: Yes . . . Wonder no longer (without looking up)

My Monkey sister is so nice

So we practice something where you don't eat /fast and concentrate on something you really need or want for yourself or someone else. It's like magic and science.

Anyway I am looking for a roommate at the moment (wanna move in?!) & since I'm so old and particular I'm nervous about who I live with. Ash knows I'm concerned and offered this:

"What should i fast for? No duh - you.
I meant literally -

Down to the bands she prefers: Smiths vs Morrisey, brie vs hubbertson bleu, George vs Paul...

Give me details"

Ahh, she's the best and knows me so well.
But I just want to live with her
(I guess after 5 years of forcing Belle & Sebastian down her throat I blew it).

What's the 1st thing you think of when you think of Ash?

I was with my favorite 4yr old twins today. Lizzy was telling me what to draw. Like her brothers hiding & me taking photos (b/c that's what I do when I'm with them)

Esp. when you're this cute!



And of course

She wanted Ash doing a hand stand.


And YES i meant to write about Nic Cake- that wasn't a typo before and I don't care if you (read: Ash) don't think my last post was funny - i do & i was there for all of it.

OK Here's a Classic Monkey & Me

It'll take some explaining but I promise it's worth it.

Remember how Jason W (our beloved Laguna Hills friend) was in NY visiting and maybe I forgot to tell Ash (hey! I was Sick)?

Well while he was here he told me about these Magic Shoes & he sent me a Link of where I could get them. Thinking Ash loves Jason W & running I was really excited & forwarded her the Link but forgot to tell her Jason W was in town.

On his last day here I asked her why she hadn't called him yet & she said I didn't tell her (true) & I said I did in an email.
She read all her emails & found 1 from me that looked like this:


From: AM
To: MONKEY
Subject: you want this? I kind of do!
LINK



that's it.
that's all i wrote.

this was her Reply:
Was that your way of telling me Jason W is here...?
A link that leads to a map of the US?
Sorry I'm not Nic Cake enough to decipher that clue into "our dear ol pally friend from LHHS is coming buried under this state's treasure map"
is he still here?
Does he want to meet RuPaul / get a signed copy of his new book?
Because RuPaul is signing his book at Columbus Circle tomorrow at 7PM.

Guys! It's March!

That means it's time to copy and paste emails from Monkey!

Like this masterpiece in regards to:

From: MONKEYS EMAIL
To: AM EMAIL
Subject: From Paris With Love

oh wow, there's a whole new brand 'o awful in town.

don't get me wrong- i like my two scoops of honey bunches 'o Reese just like the next woman.
but not when it's burried in crap.

Other possible titles:
Vomit.
Beauty&the Beast.
When Harry Met So Fine
Waterworld was nothin
2nd worst idea in a long time.
(1st worst idea being the sequel: From Paris w/ more love)
The Worst 'staches in the business [and their "beards" aren't that great either]
XXX this is not (and travolta's still mad that wasn't a real dirty movie, but watching Vin Diesel made up for it)