Guys, Halloween was Different this year

You know how meticulous I am about research and my costumes right?
(You can ask Monkey what meticulous means)



I wanted to get it right so I even took time to stretch





Then it was time to get the others ready

Lestat needed help with her bow tie



Bob Ross needed help with his 'fro

His hair is v. similar to Di's so she was a natural help



Then it was time to get into character






The walk over to the Parade might have been the best part



I mean, waiting in this line was just fine



See, we look happy enough



And Di found stuff to do



Like sing "More Than a Feeling" to us



And then. . . And then it started to rain




Di didn't care even though she was wearing suede, felt and velvet



I spray painted my Karen O. wig black
So I melted



Hair, hat, costume, everything








But other than melting all over yourself, the rain also makes you cold.


So we cut short our walk in the Parade and went to get Italian Dessert.






I washed my face twice when I got home and I still looked like this:

Another Top 10 List by my Monkey Sister

I was thinking there wasn't enough text in these posts - so glad Ash filled that need.

Top Ten Reasons U know U've Slept With Ambie:
(yes, it's happened to the best of us)

10. Portuguese sleep talking. Not kidding. Usually harmless, just requests to sleep in more (ie- PTSD from the mission)

9. The most sinister sleep giggle ever- that's freaky as $h!t when it happens, and you look around the room hoping to find another body / zombie / ax murderer laughing instead of the now scary as h#ll without even opening her eyes angel next to you.

8. You've kicked off every blanket, cover, sheet, and are now debating how necessary pajamas really are because the furnace next to you is hotter than the sun- until you find a window to open....and move to the floor underneath it.

7. She claims you "kick" in your sleep just because you may or may not dream of track and have undiagnosed RLS.

6. You roll over what feels like a brick, or stub your toe w/ a thud upon whatever Twlight book is the next series installment.

5. You're awoken by cleaning at 9am because that's "sleeping in" on a Saturday...

4. You have a new tramp stamp that reads: Amber Was Here.

3. Hey that painting over there kinda looks like me! (how long was i asleep?! I don't remember anything after I passed out from her rufie* last night (*Belle+Sebastian music)

2. No, no- Despite how good you are in bed- her NOT-FDA approved, lead-based ,foreign imported indian eyeliner isn't a bit smudged or out of place. Don't feel bad, it happens to everybody.

1. You wake up and (GASP) your jeans are tapered and your wardrobe has been replaced by American Apparel, as if anyone over Amber's size 2 (4 at fattest) can pull that off, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!



[Note: these might not ring true if you sleep with me on a beach in the middle of a sand storm on the coldest day on your vacation.]

Guys, there were some treasures in CA

From my mom's closet



That made me dance






Then there were some scary things



Can you believe the cuss I was into?



I'm surprised I'm not more messed up




But can we be serious for a second and appreciate the obvious talent I displayed at an early early age.


I mean the details of the finger joints and the time I spent on the legs.
What really gets me was how spot on I was with scale and proportion.
And my great love for the cinema started so young.

Guys, my Monkey sister makes me laugh (IE look what she wrote to me)

Top Ten Reasons Not To Kill Yourself (on this CA trip) :

10. Uh, then how are you gonna throw anymore F#@$%*n Taco Parties?...
think about it- Death just kinda kills the Carne A-sa-da aroma.
[note: this is referencing Michael Ian Black's essay which i won't put a link to b/c my mom can't hear so that much swearing]

9. [note: had to remove but this one was AMAZING]

8. Who's gonna save all the plastic bags on earth?

7. Who's gonna carry purses twice their size and bodyweight in chic paper thin coats that look good and warm nothing, thus letting MaryKate+Ashley Olsen WIN?! You can't let the Olsen twins win. The terrorists would love that.

6. Somebody's got to feed all your pet taxidermized birds. And it's not me.

5. Your Bed. Who the F. will appreciate / sleep in that plush huge thing if you don't? You don't want it to think you left if for Di's bed, do you (permanently) ?

4. That would be a waste of a new hard drive / trip to the Apple store / whatever they just did to fix your computer.

3. You know i would just cut all the sleeves off your most-usable couture, think about wearing them onstage once, then throw them to the D.I....in UTAH just so people would have to put sleeves back on them again. Kidding.
I'd donate them to Africa so those pot-bellied ring-worm kids didn't have to be self conscious about their starving body image. (+the clothes would look AMAZING on those frames)

2. Think of the children. No, not your shoes.
Arrow/Aarica/Lola/jude/ etc/the brats on Supernanny/your microbiotic diet hipsters named tennyson (yes, enough time will have elapsed) and minx, and fruity pebbles. Nix that- Fruity Pebbles is mine. Don't even call that name.

1. Who else am i gonna turn to and say, 'Hey have you tried...[insert whatever u just told me to do 4yrs ago here: from seeing Ironman to wearing feathers], it's the best- Why didn't anyone tell me about this??"


She sent me this when I was having a hard time in CA.
But don't worry, CA still loves me, look . . .

Guys, Who Loves the Sun?

So I went through iPhoto to find photos of what summer looked like in NYC

& this is ALL i found

ALL











But mostly NYC Summer looked like this:




And the Geisha photo doesn't even count because it was in another country by the sea! Blah.


So what if I live by the sun all year long?
No! Not Cinque Terre - why would you ever think that?

Guys, I need to be serious/boring obvious

Cause it's time to talk about UYD (ou seja Uhh Yeah Dude)

Seth & Jonathan of UYD came to NY to do a live show in front of:



Basically we'd been waiting for 3 months for this & when it finally happened it was dreamy hilariousness.


First - we had to get to Brooklyn 5 hours early

And kill some time here:



And eat the most delicious salad I've ever laid eyes on



Second - we had to find Public Assembly


I was worried we'd get lost



Third - we have to wait for another 3 hours


So we filled it with what we know how to do best:















We almost forgot why we were there.

Then we really remembered.



OK - now I'm just posting photos of Jonathan & Seth - like the way people post photos of their kids on their blogs














Seth had amazing '90s posture:







(P.S. the best photos came from Brigham's camera)



WAIT - I'm not done - although I bet you wish I were


Because afterward we had to dance with them



And/Or talk to them



Then take photos

Guys, who's ready for Halloween?

I know Di is



I know I am



I know these NYC Ghost are


OK, I'm not really going as a Williamsburg, VA Lollipop girl.

I was thinking about going as This lady:


You know, cause I'm lazy



But what I really wanna dress as her:


I'll tell you what I decide on

P.S. Di is not going as a Princess - duh - I wouldn't ruin her Halloween surprise on a Blog.

Guys, it'll be fine

I can't speak yet - but I'm OK

Then there was the day we rode the sleepy train

5:30PM



At first I thought it was just one side of the train




But then I saw this




I mean, sleeping didn't sound like a bad idea




The lady next to me was talking in her sleep as you can see

I did not want to waste time so I pretended to sleep but really just re-read lists I had made on my phone

Guys, I just don't know what to do with this

When I needed advice from my Monkey sister

So I was on location in My Dream Land (as you can see)



my head was spinning with where to start and what to bring home



then I got these sweet words of adivce from my dear sister:

Subject: yes child,
To: ambertines

i hear your retail prayers;
hush now, don't you cry,
U have a full week, and whatever you don't have time for, may just be best for the wallet.
So take it in at first,
evaluate, prioritize,
Seriously prioritize, No- 2 of basically the same thing, not allowed!
Then tap that $#*t like it's the Supermarket Sweepstakes meets Sabado Gigante under a drug sting.

Look, I don't just write about cats

There's taxidermied cats!



No, no, no, I enjoy all animals, esp the taxidermied (is that a word?) ones




ohhh, even better - my fake taxidermied friends


i love things that look like taxidermy but are not


This little one was especially special



Don't get me wrong - I also like live animals

in cages



no - i meant live animals that are huge



i also like animals that are clean and tidy



i also like animals in places they shouldn't be




and i Love when the animal hasn't been born yet




or after they were born and they die

they look so pretty



and i love when animals are recreated via art




but my favorite is when an animal isn't an animal but a human

NY Kitties do take the cake

Here's why NY cats are the best though:


look at that clean coat - even I'd almost pet that thing





they know how to use modern communication





they're so arty





they don't apologize for watching Dating in the Dark





and they make gosh darn good orange pillows.

Did you know I went to clean my bed off last night and at 6AM i was finally ready to sleep. but my bed looked so good i didn't want to disturb it so i slept on top of the covers hoping not to disturb my masterpiece.



i was feeling sad about how haggered i looked and then i saw this

and i felt ok about life.

Guys, do you know what i really love. . . ?

. . . .A Fine Italian Cat



Everyone wanted to bring one home






I couldn't decide which one I wanted





gross





And what's better than a Fine Italian Cat? Fine Italian Cat Art



This was a lovely piece that obviously resembles Di + Me

No Guys, I Really like to copy people AKA Di

Di decided to climb the tower in Pisa





She got nervous climbing up



So I got scared too




Di made new friends through compelling discussions



So I tried to make conversation . . .



. . . Sometimes I get distracted




Di sometimes breaks into bar warm-ups








But I drew the line here






Again,
Stacey would have none of it

Guys, i LOVE copying people . . .

Especially Di. . .















































But Stacey would have none of it

Guys, don't you love beach parties...?

So I was invited to a beach party

But when you say beach I hear 'Cuba'


This party was a little confusing at first
Because it was the Beach on the Roof
AND you had to climb these to get there - which wasn't confusing just tiring

And I mean there were a Lot of these


Then I saw this interesting thingie:



But I didn't take it seriously


Even after this:





But I thought, this is Downtown, no one has a camera in a building - that costs $$$

And then I saw






Listen though, when you take chances you get rewarded

With Friendship



& With Fabulousness



& Memories



& Pretty



And I never forgot to be modest