What does it feel like to be healthy?

I think it feels like this:Moments before Consumption took over.

Although I got spoiled with people fetching medicine + liquids & Offering to FedEx medicine + liquids.

If you're ever so sick you start to get delirious and talk about "Driving Miss Daisy" - you should do it HERE. Wieland insisted I take his room for a day to get better. I thought of taking a photo but then I passed out.

Then he and Die went HERE to get Best Cookies Ever Born.

I'm assuming since I could only look at them - but they told me they were delicious. Esp. Di, she couldn't stop talking about how delicious and perfect they were. I loved listening to that.
Imagine the best blueberry muffin top - then make it better - then make That into a cookie.

Guys, I learned something at P.S.11

That when you go to a
book fair at an NY Public
Elementary school
you get awesome stuff like this.






There were other gems -
like the book on Race and Heredity from the '60s
that I stole for
A Monkey. I know that one will be
extremely informative. Not at All offensive, I'm sure.









Moving on, My Paris Posts will take a while but this photo reminded me of something:





When I was on my lovely
AirFrance flight home with
A LOT of movies/tv shows
to choose from - I decided
I'd sit through this movie :











. . . mostly b/c Seth Romatelli
from Uhh Yeah Dude loved it.

But I LOVED it too!
Almost too much maybe.
I mean I REALLY liked it.
Turns out - he was really talented.

I kept telling Ash about it (I mean Over + Over + Over + Over - like a monkey with a miniature symbol) and she finally broke down and saw it and guess what? She loved it too.

Well - since we're talking movies...
This photo
Reminds me of how I THOUGHT
I'd feel about that other movie.
You know that one long movie.
With the animals & trees.
The one about Science.
The one that told me I CAN fly if I want.


But I didn't feel like that.






I felt like this (& Maybe Di did too)

















But let's never talk about it.

Instead let's talk about an exciting visit from one of my favorite people ever born.

That's RIGHT! The Famous Wieland is in NY visiting - creating the Internet Part 2.
W. couldn't get over how fancy my apt was.
& we couldn't get over how adorable his kids are (& I'm a harsh judge of cute kids).

Look Guys, I've been busy

Not sure what I've been busy doing - maybe watching Conan on Hulu.
But I knew one thing - before I could work on my Paris movies I had to finish my SF movies - even my mom knew that My Bek wouldn't like it if I posted Paris before San Fran.

Guys, I'm constantly lying

Turns out I took photos.
But when its less than 30 and I'm on vacation to me that means ZERO.

I did take tons of movies (lucky you).

So here is what my stupid/lovely camera took:



I stayed with Andrew & his Porcelain-Doll of a wife Michelle
& when you exit his apt. this is what you see



I got to spend time with these tres laid back ladies

I said don't get jealous - my 'who I love to travel with list'
is very long and you're all at the top (esp. you!)


Traci was esp. sweet when I almost passed out from choking




I'm sorry - I can't think of a more Adorable pregnant lady!

It was like seeing Mary Poppins great with child.


I made sure to match everywhere I went

I called ahead - it was this whole thing I won't get into

I didn't take photos in Paris

So I have to rely on the kindness of strangers for photos of the trip, like these gems:

Mich's room in Paris was très classy.


Do you know what old men in France love?

A red hat apparently.




Miss Traci was there for her birthday & I was so happy I got to travel with her
(don't get jealous - I like traveling with you too).

Guys I figured out how to blog in another language

You should be so proud.

But really I'm so proud to be sister with A Monkey b/c I get emails like this:

What?!?!
You're facebooking in Paris??
You might as well spit on the Louvre.
In that case- "Walking Tall" is on TBS right now-
a Must See movie with The Rock as long as you're looking for fun.

Guys, I wonder if my trip to Paris . . .

. . . Will be as


Dreamy



or Hilarious




as my trip to the UK?


Don't worry - you'll find out in a week or so.

Guys, I'm gonna be an excellent mom

I've been hanging out a lot with kids teaching them dance numbers

No! I'm not wearing my pajamas!



And I've been taking lessons from my friends' kids



Like how you can brush your hair with food




Look how happy this one is to be near me



And why yes, we do have this one in a bar


I learned babies love bars


I think that's what this was telling me.



And I'll teach about candy + hygiene and how candy should come before & after it.



And I already know about eating right.

Stephen Covey taught me about that.


And I'll only buy the sexiest toys for my babies.

New Year's Resolutions?

Learn to use my cuss cuss camera that cost so much cuss money it shouldn't take cuss ugly photos - I mean what's the 'auto' setting for? To taunt me, saying, 'ha! if you want to take quality photos you can't be a lazy cuss, you have to learn my features.'

I love/hate you Leica D-Lux.
I love/hate you so much!









Or I'll just buy a new one.

OK, let me just tell you what Christmas in CA entails

First there's the Spirit of Christmas


We're so classy.


Then there's the food

Turns out my Brother makes the best tamales in the family.
When does THAT happen?


And me pretending to be a mural at a food establishment

Turns out the taco place by my parent's is home to the best taco party ever.



Then there are the non-gaudy-awful houses
& by houses I mean Alisa's house
And her new addition to the family

See?



See?

No! Not Mr. Ed's stunt double from the TV show with the same name.



I'm obviously talking about @lisa's 1960s Christmas Tree

Last year was black ornaments only and I know next year's but I'll never tell unless you post me $1.

Guys, my family is special

There are the women


And we always turn up to parties in the same colors and with animals.


You don't believe me?




Anyway, there's our Mexican Martha Stewart




And then there's this one - Mother Teresa On Speed - we don't mean that name disrespectfully, she can't stop doing good deeds for people at lightning speed



There's Monkey

This is what she looks like when she's awake


& moi (I'm talking about myself now)

listen - i stood on one piece of furniture & suddenly I have a reputation for dancing on anything that will hold me



And our tiny mom who wears heals in the kitchen





Then there are the Mens




Our 2 brother in laws are très close




Wait did you notice this?





Looks like dad taught Ash everything she knows

Guys, I ruined Christmas

Everyone wanted to make a domino train

and I was jokingly pretending to be Cousin It





Mom kept saying, 'You're going to ruin everything! You can't see it!'


I assured her I wouldn't





then I did

Have you met my monkey sister?

I found out that she calls me her 'Trained Monkey' to her friends!

Me!

Anyway, there's one thing you should know about her








She's funny as #*!!

This is what Christmas looks like at the Griners

Don't worry - we were all wasted.

Guys, did I tell you about Thanksgiving? . . .

. . . The part of Thanksgiving where my niece AV came to visit us?


Didn't think so.


I mean there were many great moments & since I'm in CA & not at my compy & only have access to mom's photos - you get to see mom's memories.



First of all, which one of us was born in the 90s?

No?
Can't pull it off. . .
OK
Moving on,



There was Museum Day



This is my lovely mom and lovely neice, AV



Then mom wanted to get an 'Aunties Shot'

I tried to hide my bag which was a big failure.
But guess what I couldn't hide . . .look at those ears!!!

That's what I get for making fun of Kate Hudson.
(I told you, Di, that I had big ears!)


AV was a good sport about what pieces of art I made her stand by



And I was a good sport about what art mom wanted me to stand by

those ears are just begging to pop out



Did you know I hate parades?
But when I heard you could watch the balloons get blown up for the famous NY Balloon Day Parade I was IN.

We went with my favorite Familia - and since there are 4 boys in the family I decided to go for the Oliver! look to fit in.


It was a 'crazy-stupid' (my dad's favorite phrase that means 'really memorable') weekend





Doesn't it look like my mom is holding me like a giant baby?

Guys, see what happens when you ask me to post more?

Gosh - these last posts have been so laden with info I can hardly type after I post (happy, @lisa?)



Remember when I showed Mich this photo and told her I found my dream hat and she said, 'but won't people make fun of you? and you can't go to Battery Park in it.'

I pointed at the one I meant b/c her comment made no sense and she said, 'you can't! people will think you're the statue of liberty if you wear it.'

Then all her comments made sense.
I happily reassured her it was NOT the blue one! duh!




it was the gold one and i can't wait to wear it one day.

don't worry family, i didn't buy it . . . yet




Well, actually I can't get it now b/c Mich sent me this

And I can't wear the same hat as a man!

Guys, there are a few things you should know about me

Everything you need to know about me you can learn from
my trip to Historic Williamsburg, VA.



As you can see it was a working trip

I 'worked' a lot but you knew that



You should know Room Service and I are best friends.




I love cross dressers and Siegfried & Roy




I am attracted to good posture

Esp when they are stiff & uptight like a robot or a statue



I love when people are honest and not afraid of mediocrity





I love old maps

more than people



I usually like the idea of castles more than actually going inside them - or maybe I like the outside of castles the best?

Not that I'm complaining about castles - they're fine.




I love love love unicorns and lions . . .& when they're together?!

Forget it!


I love museum gift shops more than the actual museum

Don't freak out (Ash) - just shows you how much i LOVE/ LERVE museum shops


I love when things are named after my friends


(or almost)


I have a red-headed Southern Grandma who will charm the pants off anyone
(like me in this shot)

Best Story: she sat on a plane next to a famous baseball player and got his autograph for my dad and it said, "I thought your mom would never stop talking."



I used to play in this room when I was little

I used to pretend I was on conference calls with 'clients'



I like women with dignified accents




I like it when animals are put in uncomfortable positions.




& I love fat animals

you know I don't really like animals


I love sleeping in a hotel

I saw a blog once where a person took a photo of themselves in all the hotel rooms they stayed in and I want to do this too - I guess for this to be more effective I should have started this about 27 years ago...



I love when work trip coincide with the premiere episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

(3rd yr in a row)



I love to scare myself with art but Not scary movies

(Di! stop making me try to watch The Shining - because I'll do it and I don't want to)




Can you tell I'm avoiding work?
Oh you can't read that last question b/c you fell asleep?



UPDATE: Di just told me the last photo isn't just an awesome sign warning people that in order for me to like you as a friend you must dance. Instead, acc. to Di it's from a song that I've never heard of but of course she knows all the words to it - b/c she's forced to listen to them at her place of 'employment'