" 'ello - 'ow 're 'ou?'

In honour of my bestest mate(s) (hi nial!), here is a story Mich told me:

we took a cab to the train station this morning & the cab driver keeps a list of all the famous people who have been in his cab.

one day anita dobson (brian may from queen's wife-you probably know that but i didn't) slid into the cab with a companion. the cabbie recognized her immediately & said he was going to put his name in his book of famous people.

the guy next to anita said, "do you know who i am?" when the cabbie didn't, the male companion was a bit miffed & said, "are you sure? you may want to put my name in there as well. the name is jarvis cocker."

хороший!

P.S.
So 6 years ago I started a little book I like to call 'The Brohers Karamazov' & I didn't get past chapter 1 - so Now my belated 2008 New Year's Resoluion is to read it (I didn't say finish it!). And to get in the mood we went to see a band tonight that made me feel like I was in the movie XXX, no not That one! this one: XXX

Because the connection between Vin Diesel's XXX & Dostoevsky are so painfully obvious.
Before you say anything - you should know that being an extra in XXX is a good thing - I saw that movie more than once in the theater.

The show was very nice except I thought the people there would smell like my new perfume (that has bits of real panther in it) but instead they smelled like the worst imaginable thing ever created. I've never been to such a smelly concert - & I've been to concerts in Glasgow (hi Niall!).

Tomorrow I'm going to wear purple just because the lead singer told me to and Ash is going to become an astrophysicist 'cause apparently every family needs one.
Wait - all my purple's in the wash & I'm flying in 1 hour - this'll have to do:

(bet you didn't know I was a Magritte fan...? Well I'm Not)

Seriously - can someone stop Ash from singing about astrophysicists - she won't stop & I want/need/ insist upon at least an hour's sleep before I leave. . .

In case I don't make it . . .

I wanted to leave you with a present

But even if I do make it to Mich+Niall's
I wanted to leave you with a present

Have I taken you home yet?

"This is the one place we don't have to hide"




you know - we can Really be ourselves




except maybe for Ash because she's such a little imp







(hey - i almost made my past 2 new year's resolutions)

Christmas is about loving thine enemies

or is that another holiday?

well this year that's what it means for me












up next, babies/children

Have you met the Other member of La Familia?

I know you all thought I didn't like animals - but there's one (loving) exception. . . this is me w/ Grigori Yefimovich Rasputin but we call him Buster for short



He has more holiday spirit than others (just b/c I refuse to pin things to dead trees - unless they are my black heart ornaments)




and the sense of humour on him . . .

. . . rough


he just loves to dance

esp. to musicals (his favorite's Gypsy)

"Mama's movin' on.
Mama's all alone.
Mama doesn't care."
(you should hear him sing it)

And Merry Christmas

You've met La Familia right?


Seriously - why do people think I'm 12?

Did I ever tell you about the Christmas party?

No I was not there on the church stairs.


The wind in my hair,


a flood through my tear



We throw good parties, ne?

Ah Christmas . . .

The thing is - I don't even like home made tamales. But making them makes me Feliz - that's Spanish for my grandmother's maiden name.

2 Christmas stories that warm my heart:

1.
Dad: It was a nightmare trying to buy those colored lights for the tree - I bought all that they had left
Ash: After 20 years here we don't have our own tree lights? Didn't we have them on the tree last year?
Dad: Yeah . . .i threw them out with the tree.


2.
This is actually a scene that happened about 21 years ago that we were remembering fondly:
Mom: Bruce- Can you take the Christmas lights down?
Dad: Yes.
Mom: Bruce, can you PLEASE take the lights down?
Dad: Yesss.
Mom: BRUCE! Can you take the Christmas lights down BEFORE Ashley's birthday guests arrive?!!


Ashley was born on 18 March.

What'd You ask for for Natal?

So I stole a baby because it's Christmas and all



Di was super happy



Because as you can see I got a really good one



Right away we knew he was a match because he was so graceful



It took a little while for Little Stewie to adjust to us



But then I guess he figured, why fight it?



And did you know babies love red wine?




Um, Di?



Hey, Di?



I'm pretty sure that's illegal. . .

Guys, don't call me late at night

Me: what are you doing here!?
Monkey: I called you last night.
Me: you did?
Monkey: I asked you what time it started
Me: you did?
Monkey: you said 11:30
Me: really?
Monkey: You said, 'you're coming to church with me tomorrow?!'
Me: I did?


Di: is that why you 2 are matching?



Perhaps. We sometimes think alike . . .

And then...

we cleared out of the store with 3 bags of laffy taffy which weren't as funny b/c we had stolen them

just kidding - or maybe 'i'm lying' is more appropriate... i tried to say 'just kidding' to someone this week and they pointed out that i was just lying to them. it was scary b/c it just fell out of my mouth and felt so natural.
seriously though, stealing isn't cool.

esp. when you steal from

i mean he Looks like he could handle it and maybe he can but I can't handle hearing about him getting stolen from.

i've had to re-examine the whole 'Robin Hood' notion and I've come to the conclusion that he (RH) was a jerk - I don't care how mean the rich he stole from were - what if they just seemed like jerks but really were just shy?

And I was kidding about the laffy taffy - b/c i don't really steal - i do buy 3 bags of candy if it's 75% off though - which feels like stealing b/c it's so darn cheap.


[it looks like I just missed you - my one reader - so maybe you'll read this in a week and i'll be asleep]

Sorry guys, I couldn't wait

Oh come on - you didn't really want to go anyway, right?


but the best part of my wedding was how my friend LOOKS like he's shaped all Roley-Poley like

he's actually quite thin -- this is called a magic trick, i mean an illusion
you know how i like magic?

Did you know I went to a wedding this weekend where there WAS a magician? It made me anxious when he did his illusions on me because I kept thinking, what if I don't pick the right card and expose him as a fraud? I was glad when it was over.

I don't want to play favorites but the best part of this weekend Might have been when i went to the largest movie screen in the world (it seats 1,200, come on!). I won't tell you what I saw for several reasons, but let's just say, it was good.

I was in a potato peeling contest - i lost

Did you loose part of your finger yesterday too?
I would show you a photo but there's enough blood and gore on this SITE


So I've heard complaints from all two of you that I needed to update Le Blog


and I decided I'd finally put the photo of me in a bikini up to stop the complaining. . .


wait - is this only funny to one of you?


Di might think it's funny

b/c it's really a shot of HER in a bikini - then she might punch me in the face.


Now, I'm going to tell you what I do on Sunday.
It involves Di too.
We were so inspired from Halloween we took to dressing like literary characters when we go to church.

Here she is as Charlie Bucket (she could not get enough of that costume this year) and I'm Auntie Mame, of course (technically this is me in the sequel, Around The World With Auntie Mame).


The next week she was Estragon and I was Vladimir, obviously. So here we are waiting, which I thought was hilarious and frustrating

and 'no' i'm not calling church a tragicomedy - you read too much into this sometimes.

And the third week Di was Hedda Gabler and I was Liberace (have you read Liberace: An American Boy? Classic!)

Actually, I should probably say we took to dressing like literary/theatrical characters for all you sticklers out there

Anyway, see what happen? See what happens Larry when you force me to post and I'm not ready?
Ha! You thought I was going to say 'see what happens Larry when you meet a stranger in the Alps?' but I stopped quoting the edited version of The Big Lebowski months ago. i normally don't care for edited films but they made that movie pretty darn funny.


Now's where I mention that I've been begging my dear friend, the Persian Princess, to post a photo of her in a bikini and then she finally did and asked me where mine was, ergo the first photo on this post now has an explanation.

Although, I wonder if she will be angry at me for poaching her precious proof of immodesty?