You know how they say April showers bring tons o' Birthdays?

I leave town for a week and everyone awesome has a birthday.

For example. . .

This lady on the far left.

(ah, Christmas at our house. . . red lipstick is Mandatory)

@lisa is prbably thinking, that's the Best photo you have of me? Come on!

How about this one, she looks like a teenager, which is weird because she has an 9-year-old in this photo


Did you know her nickname is "Mother Teresa on Speed" (it's OK, it's not disrespectful)?
She's the older sister that asks guys out for me because she's afraid I'll miss my chance to have kids and she really likes to babysit.



Then we have my mysterious Persian friend.

There aren't many photos of her (she's That mysterious) and I have a feeling this could get me in trouble but here's one I poached

I know, the first thing you think is: she's so beautiful . . . but wait! She's even funnier than she is pretty!
Yeah, I know that means she's Really SUPER funny.

If you get a chance hangout with her and she'll make you laugh so hard you cry and then she'll take you to the best Indian food in CA. (You can't hang out with her, Ash, because you have bruised ribs right now and that would be like prescribing pain for pain, sorry).




THEN we have a Birthday Girl who's existence people question because no photos exist of her

Until Now


This is my favorite lady from work - and I think I technically spend more time with her than anyone else right now.
And I realize by even semi-posting about her could lead to many silent days at work -she's very private and I'm totally violating that right now - so I hope you appreciate this, mom (just kidding, she still doesn't read my blog).

If we become better friends, I'll invite to my office and you can meet her in real life. Just No photos.



I have a habit of wanting to introduce new friends to EVERYONE else in my life. That might come across as Too Intense (like, Too Awesome) but it's just because I have so many exemplary, super-cool people in my life and I feel selfish keeping them to myself. AND then when I force my friends and family on you and you all become friends and love each other then we can all hang out and it's not awkward for me. Ugh, I'm ALL selfish.

I learned 2 Things Today

When I was 12 I hit my head on a rock and had to get stiches. . . and apparently if I'm going to get stiches I guess there's just one acceptable place for me to get them.

Also when I was younger and I went to the dentist I always required twice as much novacaine as the normal patient.

And today when I got hit in the head with my board (but I was standing up right before I fell and that's all that really matters, right?) and had to get 7 stiches I learned that I require twice as much novacaine on my face - and I learned this as I felt stich 4 -5 -6 and 7 as if this was olden times and ana-stee-ja (Spell check in Spanish is not going to help this post so you have to read phoenetically) did not work.

Before the 'Doctor' started to sew me up I jokingly (cruel irony!) asked my dad to hold me down while Ash took a walk in the woods. Turns out my dad had to leave the room (at stich 4) and Ash had to come in and talk to me as I had a needle and thread pull on my open wound.

I've never hated sweing more in my whole life.

What I learn:
stiches in head only for ME
i have a high tolerance for drugs

Forget everything you know...

Because it's this girl's birthday today.




Ohhh, what? Don't recognize her?
Fine, I'll give you a more obvious photo...








Mmmm, and I already know how we're going to celebrate







Alright, I hope you've gotten your fill because I'm going surfing somewhere where they have crocodiles and I might return with just one arm and there's no way I can type with one arm - it's scientifically impossible.

Nah, its cool

They just slept together.

Guys, this is going to blow your minds

Di and I took a time machine...



And why not, I was dressed like Thurston Howell III (after attending his favorite Rasta concert, of course) and Di had just gotten back from her paper route




First we went back in time to the Old West and stopped by our favorite saloon

Oh don't be irrational! It wasn't OUR favorite saloon - I don't drink - ELO recommended it in their song "Wild West Hero."


My camera made everything look all authentic like.




Then we jumped back in our Time Machine

And went to the Future

And guys, just wait - soon you'll be able to do this

You talk to people who live far away (or not so far away - you choose) through a magic TV. . .


[Actually, I had to edit this photo b/c it had a Very revealing and even Sillier IM conversation on it - actually I had to edit this A LOT]

Hey guys, know what we serve for Easter?

Delicious Babies





And you wonder why I'm the favorite aunt? Oh wait, I'm not.


Oh come on, after he stopped crying he said he liked it.

Just Kidding, my NEPHEW doesn't cry - but he will beat you at poker and chess. And if you think I'm joking I'll set up a match with you right now -- no it's cool, he plays online so no one knows his age.

Guys, this was an eventful weekend

First I joined a Doomsday Cult and had dinner with my favorite Salt Lake City-er in whole world, Di's Mommy.


We had delicious Italian Food and had I been allowed to make eye-contact with anyone I would have told you that it was a darling restaurant where I might have had many memories.


Then I left the Cult (I found out I had to stop playing Rock Band)

and had the best pizza ever with my Special Lady.


Guys, there was so much good food and mental manipulation -- I think it was the happiest weekend ever.

I'm not saying I'm brilliant, but...

This photo has it all...



Captain Hair Do Man (with the glasses) is upset because Giant Wolf Dog has stolen Snow White's thunder
Leather Coat Lady is thinking maybe she Should have gone for the dog one size bigger even though she lives in a 300 sq ft studio
And Meanie LaRue is wondering if her life will soon be over.

And do you know the best part? This was taken in front of Grey Dog Cafe. I mean, Come On! you can't stage Photo Journalism Genius like this. It's a gift.

Guess what today is?

So today was Take Your Sister to Work Day.
It started off with Mich's lovely sister Charlotte visiting me at our shoot because Mich is out of the country and they don't celebrate TYSTW Day in the UK (because they're fascists, just kidding, they're socialists).
This is Charlotte on the right:

She was dressed a little more casual today.


After her visit I ran down to visit MY sister here

That's right, my sister works in Disneyland.
If Ash's building is in Disneyland - her building is Tsar Town USA - there were That many Russians.


You know how they say You can't know what your sister's life is like until you walk a mile in her shoes at her desk?

Yeah, I know what those shoes feel like - they feel like POWER.


I didn't realize until today that when she wants to make a personal call she has to go on the fire escape

(don't worry mom, that's a pen. just kidding! my mom doesn't read my blog)

OR


Go to the bathroom and talk there. I can't tell if they were kidding or not - Russians can be intimidating.

Now that I know the sacrifice she makes I'm gonna insist she calls me once a day - at least.
This is what Ash said when I told her that,

I had to take the sound out to protect our young readers (Hi Sheri!).


Hey, maybe next year when Ash takes me to work day it'll be like this

Hey guys, it's Spring...

I remember the first day of Spring - because I thought, "I've never been colder than right this second." And then someone said, "Isn't it the first day of Spring?" - wait maybe I didn't think that thought but said it out loud. Yeah, that's what happened.

Anyone, let's focus back to ME.
Hey, Di has a birthday this month!


So in honor of her here's a photo of her pretending to be

ME.

What if I want to extend March Madness?

I've decided that since March was such a huge success i'll continue posting all about Monkey's birthday!






OK, maybe that was an April's Fools.
And maybe that was the best April Fools joke you'll read today.


That's what I thought.