Guys, I just had a full on Pani

As in Panic Attack.

Do you know what these photos are of?

This is me, at some point, getting this:

My first tick.

Sorry to be vulgar, but that little jerk face had all my blood in his stupid, fat body.

I discovered him around 6:30AM today and I had to call MAGIC MAN before I could do anything else.

See, I grew up hearing tick horror stories from my parents.  I'm not sure why because we don't have them in CA but they were ALWAYS talking about ticks and how their heads come off and bore into you and you get lymes and you die.  Every time.

Magic Man, calmly told me I wouldn't die and hurry up and pull it out of me please.  So the tick photo shows the dumb-dumb tick on the right and my blood on the left.  What a little glutton.   

You know, had I just done as he said and sprayed with tick and bug spray like we see here, I could have avoided this melt down.

But I'd say it was all worth it, because now we have OUR SONG.

And considering my new lifestyle:

It probably won't be my last.

Guys, I've always held back. . . until now

        

When a boy writes your name in the dirt with a bullet, it's basically over.

I didn't even ask him to - he just went off on his own and wrote it.

Who knew my own name would do it for me?

Today, for example, he sent me this:

From his notes from today's meeting.

Yep, I love my name written out . . . by this guy:

But wait - before you judge me - you should know

. . . he's got a sweet spirit too.

But mostly he's just hot.

But by hot I mean really funny.

Nah, I mean hot.

Guys, Let's Head on Back to the South

So this is what I look like now that I have lived here for 5 months.

As you can see, I haven't gotten too fat from BBQ and I am always happy.

If you ever come to visit me I will take you on a tour of my office.

Even if you don't want one I'll still take you on a tour.

I will also insist you Only eat BBQ.

And by BBQ, I mean ribs.

Then I will force you to see all the sites.

Like the largest cast-iron statue in the US (or the world, I forget but just know it's big).

 I might even force you to go to the top - even at night.  

Even at night in the rain.

Don't even ask 'cause I'll do it.

Then we might venture out of Bham, like Mere and I did and see the sites in the real country.

And find robot love.

And waterfalls (multiple I should add) that are so high they make your palms sweat.

The best waterfall HAS to be Noccalula falls.

Named after the Indian Princess who threw herself off the waterfall so she wouldn't have to marry a guy she didn't love.  

The statue is a bit macabre to say the least.  

So obviously, this was my favorite.

Guys, let's just wrap up this Miami business

 1. You need to know that in Miami, you will dance all night long because it's the city where the heat is on   

I think we have Mr. World Wide to thank for that.

Or the new Step Up movie.

Or the crazy runway shenanigans.

So much dancing on the runway.  

Even the dragons were dancing.

Listen, I didn't go it, but I did stop long enough to snap a picture.

I DID however go into this store and contemplated bringing home an alligator.

I had to dress up for the fashion shows.

But I made sure I always had a bathing suit underneath in case I fell into a pool.

Although this gem of an outfit was neither fashion show ready nor swimming pool ready.  It was Walgreens at 3AM ready.

Really, I wanted to dress up like this lady.  She was in a suit Everyday.  

And it was hot.  Such discipline.

Hey, is that baby Kate Moss?  Only way taller and fatter?

Yes.

I said it.

Fat.

But by fat I mean curvy hot.

I loved her.

Guys, Did I Mention the Food?

Cause there was a ton of food.

Almost too much food.

Now I feel bad.

There was the night we ordered more food than humanly possible to eat.  

Don't worry - we threw it all away.

There was this classic, where the guy next to me what 'he' did to piss me off, assuming I was a runaway bride who ditched my man at the alter for tacos.

This was the start of a night that I don't quite remember but all you need to know is that it involved pan de bono and that Columbia might (relax! i said 'might') have Brazil beat on pan/pao.

Ah lunch. . . after the night we had (see above photo) we settled on imaginary air food and tea.  

At least I was drinking tea . . . 

Can you tell this slice was bigger than Di?

 Oh this was my healthy choice night.  

S'mores molten cake?  You're gosh darn right I ate that before stupid veggies.

This was when I ate alone.

You're welcome.