Guys, did I tell you about my Italy trip?

So WE

(hey, when were you going to tell me my glasses looked like that?)


were in the Tuscany countryside




when we came upon this hilltop town





with the best narrow streets ever born






and really short archways - good thing some of us are short

(this is me spotting Di while she does something really difficult)




and there were all these crowds of people







some of them were wearing clothing that did not fit the climate




there were all these blockades




so we could see something was happening - maybe something religious or red





and i tried to get a better look




we got bored and found this passage way to an underground cellar/ torture chamber. Does it look familiar? No - why should it?






oh! they must be filming something because there was an actor






and a fake fountain that wasn't made of stone at all





and a clock tower with red flags





and then this door that was guarded like crazy




until one point when security went to chase after some young girls - so us 3 sneaked in



and this is what we saw







Di & Stacey were very stealth when they sneaked out but I did the opposite which confused security






So I think they were filming the movie Quantum of Solace




Overall a good time was had by all in Montepulciano on the New Moon set (ha! YOU didn't think I'd admit to it, huh?)




(no - I'm not pregnant - do you think I'd announce that on a blog?!)


And we ate well

(ohhhhh, that's why I look preggers)

Guys, Halloween was Different this year

You know how meticulous I am about research and my costumes right?
(You can ask Monkey what meticulous means)



I wanted to get it right so I even took time to stretch





Then it was time to get the others ready

Lestat needed help with her bow tie



Bob Ross needed help with his 'fro

His hair is v. similar to Di's so she was a natural help



Then it was time to get into character






The walk over to the Parade might have been the best part



I mean, waiting in this line was just fine



See, we look happy enough



And Di found stuff to do



Like sing "More Than a Feeling" to us



And then. . . And then it started to rain




Di didn't care even though she was wearing suede, felt and velvet



I spray painted my Karen O. wig black
So I melted



Hair, hat, costume, everything








But other than melting all over yourself, the rain also makes you cold.


So we cut short our walk in the Parade and went to get Italian Dessert.






I washed my face twice when I got home and I still looked like this:

Another Top 10 List by my Monkey Sister

I was thinking there wasn't enough text in these posts - so glad Ash filled that need.

Top Ten Reasons U know U've Slept With Ambie:
(yes, it's happened to the best of us)

10. Portuguese sleep talking. Not kidding. Usually harmless, just requests to sleep in more (ie- PTSD from the mission)

9. The most sinister sleep giggle ever- that's freaky as $h!t when it happens, and you look around the room hoping to find another body / zombie / ax murderer laughing instead of the now scary as h#ll without even opening her eyes angel next to you.

8. You've kicked off every blanket, cover, sheet, and are now debating how necessary pajamas really are because the furnace next to you is hotter than the sun- until you find a window to open....and move to the floor underneath it.

7. She claims you "kick" in your sleep just because you may or may not dream of track and have undiagnosed RLS.

6. You roll over what feels like a brick, or stub your toe w/ a thud upon whatever Twlight book is the next series installment.

5. You're awoken by cleaning at 9am because that's "sleeping in" on a Saturday...

4. You have a new tramp stamp that reads: Amber Was Here.

3. Hey that painting over there kinda looks like me! (how long was i asleep?! I don't remember anything after I passed out from her rufie* last night (*Belle+Sebastian music)

2. No, no- Despite how good you are in bed- her NOT-FDA approved, lead-based ,foreign imported indian eyeliner isn't a bit smudged or out of place. Don't feel bad, it happens to everybody.

1. You wake up and (GASP) your jeans are tapered and your wardrobe has been replaced by American Apparel, as if anyone over Amber's size 2 (4 at fattest) can pull that off, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!



[Note: these might not ring true if you sleep with me on a beach in the middle of a sand storm on the coldest day on your vacation.]

Guys, there were some treasures in CA

From my mom's closet



That made me dance






Then there were some scary things



Can you believe the cuss I was into?



I'm surprised I'm not more messed up




But can we be serious for a second and appreciate the obvious talent I displayed at an early early age.


I mean the details of the finger joints and the time I spent on the legs.
What really gets me was how spot on I was with scale and proportion.
And my great love for the cinema started so young.

Guys, my Monkey sister makes me laugh (IE look what she wrote to me)

Top Ten Reasons Not To Kill Yourself (on this CA trip) :

10. Uh, then how are you gonna throw anymore F#@$%*n Taco Parties?...
think about it- Death just kinda kills the Carne A-sa-da aroma.
[note: this is referencing Michael Ian Black's essay which i won't put a link to b/c my mom can't hear so that much swearing]

9. [note: had to remove but this one was AMAZING]

8. Who's gonna save all the plastic bags on earth?

7. Who's gonna carry purses twice their size and bodyweight in chic paper thin coats that look good and warm nothing, thus letting MaryKate+Ashley Olsen WIN?! You can't let the Olsen twins win. The terrorists would love that.

6. Somebody's got to feed all your pet taxidermized birds. And it's not me.

5. Your Bed. Who the F. will appreciate / sleep in that plush huge thing if you don't? You don't want it to think you left if for Di's bed, do you (permanently) ?

4. That would be a waste of a new hard drive / trip to the Apple store / whatever they just did to fix your computer.

3. You know i would just cut all the sleeves off your most-usable couture, think about wearing them onstage once, then throw them to the D.I....in UTAH just so people would have to put sleeves back on them again. Kidding.
I'd donate them to Africa so those pot-bellied ring-worm kids didn't have to be self conscious about their starving body image. (+the clothes would look AMAZING on those frames)

2. Think of the children. No, not your shoes.
Arrow/Aarica/Lola/jude/ etc/the brats on Supernanny/your microbiotic diet hipsters named tennyson (yes, enough time will have elapsed) and minx, and fruity pebbles. Nix that- Fruity Pebbles is mine. Don't even call that name.

1. Who else am i gonna turn to and say, 'Hey have you tried...[insert whatever u just told me to do 4yrs ago here: from seeing Ironman to wearing feathers], it's the best- Why didn't anyone tell me about this??"


She sent me this when I was having a hard time in CA.
But don't worry, CA still loves me, look . . .