Another Top 10 List by my Monkey Sister

I was thinking there wasn't enough text in these posts - so glad Ash filled that need.

Top Ten Reasons U know U've Slept With Ambie:
(yes, it's happened to the best of us)

10. Portuguese sleep talking. Not kidding. Usually harmless, just requests to sleep in more (ie- PTSD from the mission)

9. The most sinister sleep giggle ever- that's freaky as $h!t when it happens, and you look around the room hoping to find another body / zombie / ax murderer laughing instead of the now scary as h#ll without even opening her eyes angel next to you.

8. You've kicked off every blanket, cover, sheet, and are now debating how necessary pajamas really are because the furnace next to you is hotter than the sun- until you find a window to open....and move to the floor underneath it.

7. She claims you "kick" in your sleep just because you may or may not dream of track and have undiagnosed RLS.

6. You roll over what feels like a brick, or stub your toe w/ a thud upon whatever Twlight book is the next series installment.

5. You're awoken by cleaning at 9am because that's "sleeping in" on a Saturday...

4. You have a new tramp stamp that reads: Amber Was Here.

3. Hey that painting over there kinda looks like me! (how long was i asleep?! I don't remember anything after I passed out from her rufie* last night (*Belle+Sebastian music)

2. No, no- Despite how good you are in bed- her NOT-FDA approved, lead-based ,foreign imported indian eyeliner isn't a bit smudged or out of place. Don't feel bad, it happens to everybody.

1. You wake up and (GASP) your jeans are tapered and your wardrobe has been replaced by American Apparel, as if anyone over Amber's size 2 (4 at fattest) can pull that off, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!



[Note: these might not ring true if you sleep with me on a beach in the middle of a sand storm on the coldest day on your vacation.]