Guys, I'm constantly lying

Turns out I took photos.
But when its less than 30 and I'm on vacation to me that means ZERO.

I did take tons of movies (lucky you).

So here is what my stupid/lovely camera took:



I stayed with Andrew & his Porcelain-Doll of a wife Michelle
& when you exit his apt. this is what you see



I got to spend time with these tres laid back ladies

I said don't get jealous - my 'who I love to travel with list'
is very long and you're all at the top (esp. you!)


Traci was esp. sweet when I almost passed out from choking




I'm sorry - I can't think of a more Adorable pregnant lady!

It was like seeing Mary Poppins great with child.


I made sure to match everywhere I went

I called ahead - it was this whole thing I won't get into

I didn't take photos in Paris

So I have to rely on the kindness of strangers for photos of the trip, like these gems:

Mich's room in Paris was très classy.


Do you know what old men in France love?

A red hat apparently.




Miss Traci was there for her birthday & I was so happy I got to travel with her
(don't get jealous - I like traveling with you too).

Guys I figured out how to blog in another language

You should be so proud.

But really I'm so proud to be sister with A Monkey b/c I get emails like this:

What?!?!
You're facebooking in Paris??
You might as well spit on the Louvre.
In that case- "Walking Tall" is on TBS right now-
a Must See movie with The Rock as long as you're looking for fun.

Guys, I wonder if my trip to Paris . . .

. . . Will be as


Dreamy



or Hilarious




as my trip to the UK?


Don't worry - you'll find out in a week or so.

Guys, I'm gonna be an excellent mom

I've been hanging out a lot with kids teaching them dance numbers

No! I'm not wearing my pajamas!



And I've been taking lessons from my friends' kids



Like how you can brush your hair with food




Look how happy this one is to be near me



And why yes, we do have this one in a bar


I learned babies love bars


I think that's what this was telling me.



And I'll teach about candy + hygiene and how candy should come before & after it.



And I already know about eating right.

Stephen Covey taught me about that.


And I'll only buy the sexiest toys for my babies.

New Year's Resolutions?

Learn to use my cuss cuss camera that cost so much cuss money it shouldn't take cuss ugly photos - I mean what's the 'auto' setting for? To taunt me, saying, 'ha! if you want to take quality photos you can't be a lazy cuss, you have to learn my features.'

I love/hate you Leica D-Lux.
I love/hate you so much!









Or I'll just buy a new one.

OK, let me just tell you what Christmas in CA entails

First there's the Spirit of Christmas


We're so classy.


Then there's the food

Turns out my Brother makes the best tamales in the family.
When does THAT happen?


And me pretending to be a mural at a food establishment

Turns out the taco place by my parent's is home to the best taco party ever.



Then there are the non-gaudy-awful houses
& by houses I mean Alisa's house
And her new addition to the family

See?



See?

No! Not Mr. Ed's stunt double from the TV show with the same name.



I'm obviously talking about @lisa's 1960s Christmas Tree

Last year was black ornaments only and I know next year's but I'll never tell unless you post me $1.

Guys, my family is special

There are the women


And we always turn up to parties in the same colors and with animals.


You don't believe me?




Anyway, there's our Mexican Martha Stewart




And then there's this one - Mother Teresa On Speed - we don't mean that name disrespectfully, she can't stop doing good deeds for people at lightning speed



There's Monkey

This is what she looks like when she's awake


& moi (I'm talking about myself now)

listen - i stood on one piece of furniture & suddenly I have a reputation for dancing on anything that will hold me



And our tiny mom who wears heals in the kitchen





Then there are the Mens




Our 2 brother in laws are très close




Wait did you notice this?





Looks like dad taught Ash everything she knows