Hi, we're sisters.

Don't believe us?



how about NOW:







One of us won a duathlon the first time we competed.


Hint: Wasn't me. I couldn't even wake up early enough to wacth



But i Do use the Gift w/ Purchase mom gave to Ash because I'm grateful. i like to pretend she gave it to me first.




One of us maybe just headlined at the Whiskey




OK, it wasn't me either but i like to read maps more than you
(hey, seriously, who says I'm loosing my tan?)



This one knows how to celebrate after placing 5th OVERALL in the NYC Splash N Dash -- her 1st swim duathlon where she swam the backstroke AKA the most inefficient stroke the whole way.



Yeah its cool that I didn't get asked to sing with the Mariachis


because people think I'm 12



Hi, I have a concave stomach


Hi, I dress like an Australian's Nightmare




But we do agree on 1 Sexy Beast:



we like the one in the middle in case you were wondering

Hey guys, guess what. . .

Not me though.

But I don't hate it like I thought.


Even though they made me drive.

and yes i tagged the wall behind me. it's my new name.



and even though there were animals


Like this bear



this one made me mad


this one wasn't so bad


and then there were the vegetables


why would you want a gourd that would require at least 2 strong people to lift?



um, do i hate these guys?







look what the hamptons did to my camera. sick.




This is Kimmie tempting Di. Di loves to punch people in the face when they eat kiwis.

Did you know all my dreams have come true?

Ever since my poster-boy-for-masculinity rested his hand on my head and sang to me that one night. . .




NO! What?! Not him!

Why would you ever think that?



HIM:


He is the one with the truly impeccable pick-up line. . . "Want to know why I walk with a limp?"
[sigh]
This is who shaped my every ideal of the opposite sex.




Does that explain everything, yet?

Who knows the 3 Rules of Etiquette?

So it's my Mom's birthday

[she's on the right]


and even though she doesn't read my blog I thought i'd post something in honor of her.

Her favorite thing to ask is if you know the 3 Rules of Etiquette [the pathetic thing is - I had to have her remind me more than once what all three rules were]:

1. Be Kind

like to your grandbabies/ nephews

note: they do not want to play Marionette



2. Be Kind

like making a huge dinner for people you barely know

and letting other people take credit for it



3. Be Kind

she'll clean and organize your apt for free and in those shoes too

and let you mess it up all over again


See why it's lame de mais that I forgot those rules?


And don't worry Mae, when you turn 90 I'll make you sing at your birthday too.

I had the meanest mom (it's cool she doesn't read this) who would make me cry every morning when she'd brush my hair.


Seriously - it was my hair, what was up with that?

So naturally she came to visit and I asked her to do my hair again.



I'm Just Kidding here because. . .






. . . now I like it



Have you noticed how often I ask you to brush my hair? I do it a lot. And I'm not just quoting the Cheap Girls from the Money Pit. (actually that line is about washing my hair).



So here's Monkey and me post salon de beauté

We would have done Monkey's hair too but she was too busy spray painting her reindeer's hair.

Erm,

I mean, where do we begin?
I don't think we really know who Danny is, I don't think he or Joey are who we'd think they are . . .

Should we not even start?

Yeah, you're right.



See what happens when you Ask for more posts?
That's it - I'm going back to blogging about what I know best (you just wait)...

Guys, I don't really hate children

And to prove it I bought some from a secret website.

They're quite shy so this is the only photo I have of them but maybe I can replace it later on.


So this is Constance and Cornelius




New York can get so cold so

I've already decided they'll need a coat





Made from

this little guy





Oh man, when left to my own devices see what I resort to?
Next time you see me I'll be dressed like Emily Dickinson, insisting you call me 'Lenore' and quoting 'Mad Girl's Love Song: A Villanelle.'


Let's just go back to Greece where I was Normal.

Guys, what if I'm not who you thought I was?

Could we still be friends?

If maybe I like camping?

And nature ?

And being barefoot in the woods?

And children?



Ha! Just Kidding!

I don't like children.