guess where I am?

OK - I'll give you awesome clues and whoever guesses correctly will get $1 (USD) or £1 (GBP) . . .or another prize to be determined by Me at a later date.



(oh come on! this is art - this is amazing stuff!)



(brother/sister duo? or something much much more complicated? i don't even know)

OK, let's talk about some really important things:

If you go to iTunes and write reviews on Ashley 1st I'll probably be the happiest shark-hater ever born. Think of it as the best Christmas present anyone could ever give to anyone ever (way better than anything you'd see on Gossip Girl).

I hope you guys don't read this silly blog and think: hey, this girl is OK, than meet me and think, "wha? this is NOTHING like the posts I read..." And THEN think: man, i don't like either of you. And vice-versa (IE: meet me, read this, than hate us both or even just hate us both right off the bat - although that seems more reasonalbe since I think we're actually the same person). And yes, I realize my punctuation is insonsistant - deal with it.

But on a lighter, happier note (I'm really not in a bad mood - it just seems that way when I write things when I'm annoyed and tired and grumpy). . . I wrote my new year's resolutions and all I can say is, this is IT - this is the big year we've all been waiting for... I'm going to teach myself to do the splits. [Note: this blog began when I told my sister about a friend's blog that would document her trying to do the splits - little by little everyday. My inspired sister suggested I create one that showed me NOT doing the splits little by little ...so now I'm just going to practice doing them privately everyday.]

And finally, Merry Christmas!

Guys, no babies for me. . .

. . .I just found out there's no more cuteness left in the world, thanks to this little lassy who stole it!


No point now, because I do NOT want a homely baby. No one likes 'em really - even if they pretend to - and I Know I won't be having no affable babies because I don't like people myself. [Note: if you have a gosh-awful ugly baby and it's got a really good personality, then all if forgiven and your baby might out-importance the cute kid down the street.] Darn it, I was really looking forwarding to procreating - guess I'll have to find something else to do with my time. . . snow shoe-ing anyone?

What? It's just barbeque sauce. . .

. . . C'Mon I wanna make out.






You know, I realize if you haven't seen "Wet Hot American Summer," than this precious little quote will be lost on you. But, I'm willing to take that chance. And if you've never heard of "Wet Hot..." and you judge it based on the name alone than you are an even greater fool than I once thought.

Hey guys, let's get nostalgic. . .

It was this time last year that Di and I went to help this guy at work:




Except he looked like this:

Whhaaaaat?! How could someone age like that in 1 year? Never mind, he did.



He's a teacher. He teaches cute kids like these (but actually this kid is cuter than normal kids).




These are the names of the kids he teaches. . .




We were probably the greatest helpers of all time:

(i can tell time)


(di can read too)



Highlights from his room:



. . .and i wonder if Mr. F. would get his feelings hurt when kids would use their $$$ for 2 or 3 books at a time from the library?




At first Di & I were surprised at how often Mr. F would raise his voice (I was genuinely scared of him at times) but at the end of the day I caught myself yelling, "get in your seat, you!" and "stop that right now, you!" (the names were too hard for me to learn). Who knew teaching could be so emotionally exhausting and sticky? Those kids were so gosh darn dirty, I think they wash their hands in syrup.