Guys, my Monkey sister makes me laugh (IE look what she wrote to me)

Top Ten Reasons Not To Kill Yourself (on this CA trip) :

10. Uh, then how are you gonna throw anymore F#@$%*n Taco Parties?...
think about it- Death just kinda kills the Carne A-sa-da aroma.
[note: this is referencing Michael Ian Black's essay which i won't put a link to b/c my mom can't hear so that much swearing]

9. [note: had to remove but this one was AMAZING]

8. Who's gonna save all the plastic bags on earth?

7. Who's gonna carry purses twice their size and bodyweight in chic paper thin coats that look good and warm nothing, thus letting MaryKate+Ashley Olsen WIN?! You can't let the Olsen twins win. The terrorists would love that.

6. Somebody's got to feed all your pet taxidermized birds. And it's not me.

5. Your Bed. Who the F. will appreciate / sleep in that plush huge thing if you don't? You don't want it to think you left if for Di's bed, do you (permanently) ?

4. That would be a waste of a new hard drive / trip to the Apple store / whatever they just did to fix your computer.

3. You know i would just cut all the sleeves off your most-usable couture, think about wearing them onstage once, then throw them to the D.I....in UTAH just so people would have to put sleeves back on them again. Kidding.
I'd donate them to Africa so those pot-bellied ring-worm kids didn't have to be self conscious about their starving body image. (+the clothes would look AMAZING on those frames)

2. Think of the children. No, not your shoes.
Arrow/Aarica/Lola/jude/ etc/the brats on Supernanny/your microbiotic diet hipsters named tennyson (yes, enough time will have elapsed) and minx, and fruity pebbles. Nix that- Fruity Pebbles is mine. Don't even call that name.

1. Who else am i gonna turn to and say, 'Hey have you tried...[insert whatever u just told me to do 4yrs ago here: from seeing Ironman to wearing feathers], it's the best- Why didn't anyone tell me about this??"


She sent me this when I was having a hard time in CA.
But don't worry, CA still loves me, look . . .

Guys, Who Loves the Sun?

So I went through iPhoto to find photos of what summer looked like in NYC

& this is ALL i found

ALL











But mostly NYC Summer looked like this:




And the Geisha photo doesn't even count because it was in another country by the sea! Blah.


So what if I live by the sun all year long?
No! Not Cinque Terre - why would you ever think that?

Guys, I need to be serious/boring obvious

Cause it's time to talk about UYD (ou seja Uhh Yeah Dude)

Seth & Jonathan of UYD came to NY to do a live show in front of:



Basically we'd been waiting for 3 months for this & when it finally happened it was dreamy hilariousness.


First - we had to get to Brooklyn 5 hours early

And kill some time here:



And eat the most delicious salad I've ever laid eyes on



Second - we had to find Public Assembly


I was worried we'd get lost



Third - we have to wait for another 3 hours


So we filled it with what we know how to do best:















We almost forgot why we were there.

Then we really remembered.



OK - now I'm just posting photos of Jonathan & Seth - like the way people post photos of their kids on their blogs














Seth had amazing '90s posture:







(P.S. the best photos came from Brigham's camera)



WAIT - I'm not done - although I bet you wish I were


Because afterward we had to dance with them



And/Or talk to them



Then take photos

Guys, who's ready for Halloween?

I know Di is



I know I am



I know these NYC Ghost are


OK, I'm not really going as a Williamsburg, VA Lollipop girl.

I was thinking about going as This lady:


You know, cause I'm lazy



But what I really wanna dress as her:


I'll tell you what I decide on

P.S. Di is not going as a Princess - duh - I wouldn't ruin her Halloween surprise on a Blog.

Guys, it'll be fine

I can't speak yet - but I'm OK

Then there was the day we rode the sleepy train

5:30PM



At first I thought it was just one side of the train




But then I saw this




I mean, sleeping didn't sound like a bad idea




The lady next to me was talking in her sleep as you can see

I did not want to waste time so I pretended to sleep but really just re-read lists I had made on my phone

Guys, I just don't know what to do with this

When I needed advice from my Monkey sister

So I was on location in My Dream Land (as you can see)



my head was spinning with where to start and what to bring home



then I got these sweet words of adivce from my dear sister:

Subject: yes child,
To: ambertines

i hear your retail prayers;
hush now, don't you cry,
U have a full week, and whatever you don't have time for, may just be best for the wallet.
So take it in at first,
evaluate, prioritize,
Seriously prioritize, No- 2 of basically the same thing, not allowed!
Then tap that $#*t like it's the Supermarket Sweepstakes meets Sabado Gigante under a drug sting.

Look, I don't just write about cats

There's taxidermied cats!



No, no, no, I enjoy all animals, esp the taxidermied (is that a word?) ones




ohhh, even better - my fake taxidermied friends


i love things that look like taxidermy but are not


This little one was especially special



Don't get me wrong - I also like live animals

in cages



no - i meant live animals that are huge



i also like animals that are clean and tidy



i also like animals in places they shouldn't be




and i Love when the animal hasn't been born yet




or after they were born and they die

they look so pretty



and i love when animals are recreated via art




but my favorite is when an animal isn't an animal but a human