I'm just sayin'

Leslie Hall is my new Valentine:

She made all of our dreams come true and she was nicer than peach pie! (And just look at Michelle's radiant face).


And maybe these guys:

They're called The Beatards - they also make dreams come true.



And I'm not one to endorse people but when stuff like this happens:


AND



I can't help but give you their contact info so you can get to know them - I mean I HAVE to give you their info, I'm morally obligated - otherwise I'd be so selfish.

You're the best . . .

So there's this thing called TiVo and I'm just starting to get acquainted / learn how to use it and good thing because I saw that my all-time favorite movie was going to be on:


And I'd say for the last 4 years I've been mildly obsessed with the line, "Put 'im in a body bag Johnny!" And now thanks to TiVo I can re-live that moment over and over. And since I haven't seen that film in oh, maybe 18 years, I assumed that line took place during THIS scene:


But I was wrong! I was starting to think that maybe I made that line up... but it was finally in the last scene, in the background (you could barely understand it) someone yells, "Put him in a body bag!"
Man! My dreams were dashed!
It wasn't as good as I thought . . . but is it ever?

That's OK, you know I just wanted to watch the scene where the greatest song ever written is juxtaposed with karate mastery.

Unfortunately once you've seen this scene, the original doesn't compare:

No YOU're the best around

Guess what hobby I picked up. . .

Except this isn't me.
No WAY did I look this good.
But i DID do it - twice.
This is my 'special new friend' (you've seen Spinal Tap, right?) Michelle.
She's my friend who embodies everything a girl/ lady should be. Like, she likes monster ballads and ballet and basketball and eggs Benedict. I'm going to be taking lessons from her this year.

Hey, who wants to live in the past/ present AND future?

My older sister and mom are going to be mad but I decided the photo of me as Jerri Blank wasn't ugly enough so I put another photo in. But I don't know how to put links in so you're all saved.

But let's talk about important stuff.
LIke when is this lady going to have her baby?

Yes that IS Goonie rock behind her.

I didn't tell you about that trip?

It was summer but we still had to dress like this:

I swear I don't plan these photos -- and now I wish I COULD hook you up with links - like the Mormon Boy on Sunday and the NY Winter Coats. . . I just get these photos and they are randomly lined up to create impromptu scales.


But this is what we did:


Di and I stole a sand castle from some kids.


I got a manly boyfriend


Di did her best Karate Kid impression. I've seen better (from her - not in general!)

OK,

I have no memory of this and don't know how it happened. I could say knowing Us this should be impossible, but at the same I could say, knowing Us, of COURSE this happened. Actually I don't even know who these belong to.

Alright Smarty Pants. . .

Why don't you tell me what Scrabble approved word you'd use with This hand? I hate it when chance and a random assortment of letters beats me!

Hey who wants hot dogs?

Remember when I came home the other night really late and as I let myself in the building I thought, "I'm hungry . . . but I just ate . . . oh well."
Well it turns out the building next store which stores all the food carts in New York was on fire.

No, it's true!
Look:



OK, you still don't believe me, but here's a photo of NY's Finest next to our doorway!




So THAT explains my sporadic hunger - I was smelling delicious burning hot dogs!

And how did we eventually find all this out? Well, smoke was seeping into our apartment from the hallway and my roommates went out to see if we were going to die while I waited on the couch -- hey, it was cold outside.

Mmm, we're bland

Actually, what we are observing in this photo is a scale - and a stunning bar graph - of the degrees of toughness in the New York winter. We start with Di, who is obviously a wuss and move up to Stephen who incontestably has no feeling in his extremities. I'd say that the ideal scenario involves the third example from the left - who is an awesome genius and displays the perfect amount of fortitude.

Don't you think. . .

When it gets to this point it's just too late to save a building?

Another one of the 7 Awesome Habits of Highly Awesome People...

I eat my 4-5 servings of fruits/vegetables (but mostly vegetables because I'm extra awesome like that) Every DAY. If I keep this up I'll be ready for a repeat of the 1K I ran a while back. Remember that day? I was so special.

. . . . Best day of my life . . . .

Note the Rock Star in sunglasses who finished the race super fast, ran back to find me and re-ran the end of it just to give me support.


OK, maybe I stole the idea about the Vegetables Everyday from someone - but I'm sure they're fine with it because I think they stole it from the this place called the FDA.

Oh don't even tell me you haven't been waiting for this:

It all started with a shelf. . .



Which made this thing (AKA my bedroom) look sooooo good looking:



maybe you'd have to have seen my room before to get the true beauty of THIS one:




I mean, I don't want to brag but this is what happens when you read "7 Awesome Habits of Highly Awesome People"



you don't tell ME you don't like Mexican folk art/décor...

OK, maybe you don't but that just means you're racist.


OK, but here's the Real reason we're all friends:

Why yes, that IS a commemorative doll plate.
It's in honor of my Grammy - yeah, that's right, so you can take back all things you just thought.

And yes she is supposed to give you nightmares.

Seriously? It might be illegal to look this good...

It's a good thing the roads closed and we couldn't go to Canyons that day - we'd be lookin' so darn hot we'd get arrested.

Guys, look at all the Spirit Children I made. . .

My children come in all sizes and clothing persuasion.



Do you like my little one's hat?




Ok, fine, I didn't make them alone, I might have had help form this magical couple (they are SO good at baby making):

This is how I want my pets:

All gangsta like and stuff. And maybe even camouflage.

Hey guys, bet you didn't know I had a TV Show

Hola! Me llamo Ugly Betty.


Listen! I've been thinking about this for a while and I'm not trying to brag but I swear I'm Ugly Betty. I could make a list of all the obvious, smaller similarities - but here are the 2 most important: we're both clumsy and awkward but sort of blindly so (I rarely think I'm as awkward as I look or actually am).
Case in point:




AND we both have work friends from the UK, who work on the fashion side, who have a heart of gold. . .

... who can hold down their liquor, who we tell everything to, who makes coming to work a joy, and I swear my Girl could hold her own against Ricky Gervais Any day. Oh my gosh - am I even making sense anymore? I'm not, huh? Oh no - I'm not Ugly Betty, I'm Jerri Blank:

"I stole a TV."

Blah blah blah, i know some of you don't WATCH television, some of you are rolling your eyes at my cultural references, and some of you Only watch "Shameless" so these pedestrian examples are lost on you. [Note: "Shameless" is a really good show and if they showed it here that's all I'd watch too]

Highlights from New Years

This is who I spent New Year's with. . . It kind of reminded me of an episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."




Oh Come On! How perfect that they call an elevator a 'Lift' and that this Lift had a Family name on it. You can just see how excited we all were by this.





Since I'm American and I Love guns this is where I got to sleep. It wasn't far from the MacKenzie house.




In the UK, this is ART.

Can someone please explain this?

Right - so it starts off normal enough. Mich has an itchy hook on her dress she wants cut off so we borrow a pair a scissors and get to work at cutting her dress up...





I don't even remember falling or jumping or leaping or whatever the heck I'm doing. But aren't the British soooooo civilized? Even through this crazy, wild stunt of ours, the cup of tea remains unshaken and not fazed in the least by our American, uncouth behavior.