ambertines

Guys, family outings are the best

2012-02-12T21:06:00.001-05:00

We went on a tour of OC sites made famous from Arrested Development.

It was the best day ever.

First there was a drive-by Lucille's Balboa Towers Apartment

We took a spin around the marina looking for GOB's boat.

Then we went in search of loose seals and found a million.

No hands were lost that day.

Mostly because those darn seals smelled so bad we didn't dare get close.

Guys, Our Family Likes to do Breakfast Right

2012-02-09T22:08:00.002-05:00

I blame the healthy beach-lifestyle.

Guys, who's more perfect than Tina Fey?

2012-02-06T03:23:00.001-05:00

None. None more perfect.

Guys, Podcasts are the New Magical Media. Ou Seja, Music Who?

2012-02-05T20:39:00.000-05:00

A long time ago I saw a magical duo named Uhh Yeah Dude, REMEMBER?

And do you remember when I SAID it was 'no big deal?' the fourth time I saw them live?

Well I have now been to five live shows over four nights and let me tell you. . .

It is a VERY BIG DEAL. Huge. Massive. Life Changing.

For Mrs. Seth Romatelli and me.

Guys, I Went to Magical Place Once

2012-02-01T02:26:00.001-05:00

There is a magical place called San Di-ah-go

where the streets look like Sesame Street

The animals rest on your hand and even more amazing -

I let them touch me.

And the buildings are so ornate they make me sick with joy and awe.

But the most magical thing about this place is the gift shop that sells the most perfect jewelry.

I want to call everyone Fruit Cake from now on.

Guys, this is the only way I want to be woken up on a Saturday/ Any Day

2012-01-30T02:49:00.001-05:00

I love a pixelated baby early in the morning.

Especially one that wants to get closer and closer to the camera.

Guys, Magical Things Happen . . .

2012-01-23T02:15:00.002-05:00

. . . When this one comes to town:

Like visits to the D.I. (my perfect store) and multiple donut restaurants. That's right. I called them restaurants, because one day that was our lunch and another day that was our dinner. Be jealous.

Guys, I love technology

2012-01-23T02:05:00.000-05:00

So for my birthday last year I got this remote control and mini tri-pod for my iPhone. After bragging about it one day at lunch with our friends they asked me to put it to use for a nice group shot.

And then for some reason my mind went blank.

I couldn't even remember to put my arm down to hide the remote.

And when we finally got it right, I realized I forgot to ask Monkey sister to stand in the sun.

Guys, have you ever seen a photo that makes you tear up with joy?

2012-01-20T03:39:00.000-05:00

I just did.

Guys, I am the Worst

2012-01-16T03:00:00.002-05:00

So I went to Slavery Footprint to find out how many slaves have worked for me or perhaps are still working for me.

I know I shouldn't make light of this, but I really thought my number would be really low and then I could brag about it.

And for a while I was proud of that number. But then I saw this:

Oh man! I'm awful! I am the worst! Worst than Gwyneth Paltrow.

And for half a second I didn't know why my number was so high.

Then they told me exactly why my number was so high.

Do you know the worst part? I lied about how many clothes I owe. I under-estimated. By a lot. But is it better if most of my clothes are vintage? No? I'm still worst than Goop?

Fine, back to Kiva I go.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2011-12-27T03:32:00.003-05:00

How do I know this?

The Advent told me.

Which means it's time for our Holiday Open House in Our New House.

And THAT means, a night spent with loved ones.

And then THAT means, I get to see Bek + Her Hot Man.

They are tres affectionate with each other.

And he is muy affectionate with me.

But really we both just have eyes for Bek.

Too much?

Oh you just wait.

We were just getting started.

Um, hello! Can you just see how strong this man is!

He is literally picking both of us up at the same time.

But we weren't just there to take photos of each other.

We were there for the music too!

Little Monkey sister sang some sexy Christmas songs,

which the people in the front row especially loved.

But then, just like old times, we got carried away with the camera and it turned into this whole thing.

Yep, that's magic.

Auntie Grace brought Tata over and he was as spirited as ever.

And obviously we ended the night on a high note.

Guys, I like to Celebrate Christmas...

2011-12-25T18:31:00.004-05:00

...With big crowds, just tons and tons of people.

So many people you can't walk at a normal pace.

Like when I went to see the Christmas lights

at the Mission Inn with Bek and Her 'Man's Man' Boyfriend.

We were huddled together all night because of all the people,

but I didn't mind 'cause they're so hot.

Then I went to Disneyland with another hot group of people,

Chris and his sisters (and his mom too).

There were so many people they even had a parade of just people walking down Main Street.

Oh I guess Santa was in it too.

Guys, I'd watch more Soccer if it always looked like this:

2011-12-25T17:10:00.001-05:00

Guys, who's camera phone is the Most Awesome?

2011-12-24T02:09:00.003-05:00

Personally, I like mine the best.

Guys, All my Dreams Have Come True Now

2011-12-18T15:48:00.002-05:00

You have certain goals you want to reach in your lifetime, milestones, things that matter and once you reach them you can say your life is complete.

One of those things happened last Tuesday.

Bek and I went to Worship /Watch the Throne.

Jay Z + Kanye West complete each other.

Jay Z + Kanye West compete me.

First thing's first. What to wear.

I wanted to go dressed like this:

But settled for a Kid Cudi look.

Bek and I did our requisite photo:

So necessary. So necessary.

We made it to the Staples Center and decided to take our holiday photos now.

We're going to merge then together so we look like a proper couple.

OK, forget us, back to the Mens.

Two stages and movies of Great White Sharks.

Yeah, minds were blown.

Bek might have gotten mad when they played the same song 10 Times.

But I was one of the people yelling, 'One more time!'

When they sang it 9 Times.

So you could say we disagreed on that one.

Dad snuck in and we both walked away with a piece of history.

I'll say it.

I wish they would have gone to 11.

Guys, sometimes I want to prove I'm not vain

2011-12-17T15:26:00.000-05:00

So I let things like this get published online.

I'd rather look uglier online than in real life.

OK, OK, That's a lie, I just can't tell Di 'No.'

Guys, Am I fired as an American?

2011-12-14T20:57:00.006-05:00

I just saw Joe Biden on TV and I realized I had no idea what he looked like!

He looks like this!

Weird, right?

I thought this guy was a news anchor or the white haired guy from Night Court.

OK, I know that sounds irresponsible. But can you blame me? Who cares what the VP looks like when you have a such a dreamy president.

Guys, I'm back from the East

2011-12-14T04:51:00.002-05:00

And it looks like someone learned to love animals . . .

Guys, I have an awesome sense of direction

2011-12-04T02:56:00.007-05:00

Well, I mean, I should say it's awesome to me, it might be average to you.

I hung out with my Persian Princess and her lovely friends and the night's activity was to show the importance of sight and sound when it comes to sense of direction.

What am I talking about?

I'll explain even more.

How we tested this was to wear headphones with loud music playing and put a bag over our head so it was pitch black. Then we were taken to a football field and told to walk in a straight line. We were given an iPhone with a GPS so everyone's walk was recorded.

I was the first to go so my route is the top left.

Impressive, huh?

My photos were probably the scariest that night

because I thought it would help to walk with one arm up.

I have no recollection of a kid being there.

I'm sure I beat her though.

Guys, babies hate to sleep

2011-12-01T02:53:00.004-05:00

But I don't care.

That just means I get to spend more time with this wee one.

And watch a gorgeous sunrise.

Sign me up.

Guys, I had a Surprise Party Once

2011-11-24T23:58:00.014-05:00

And my hot friends came.

Andrew+Michelle are hot but did not want to participate in our extra sexy photo.

Andrew+Michelle are so in love we had to pull them away from each other for 1 minute for a group shot re-do:

I decided to share my Surprise Party with my special, new friends Kylie Minogue, Racey Stace and J.Co.

I love love love how bossy Racey Stace is in this shot with Kylie Jenner:

The surprise got serious when I was handed a card and told to guess what my present was.

I never would have guessed that I would one day own my dream bike, but I was wrong because I now do own my dream bike.

Guys, let's go back to My Couple Favorito

2011-11-22T00:29:00.013-05:00

This is Bek:

This is Kyle (using static electricity to style his hair):

This is what they look like as One:

This is what Bek and I look like together:

And this is what Kyle and I look like together:

We are great friends.

When we hang out Kyle likes to show off his muscles. . .

. . . and how long my hair is.

He also likes to test his hand-eye coordination:

Bek is cool with all this man-handling because of the loves he gives her after:

Everyone likes to give them their privacy, but not me.

Guys, get ready to be impressed

2011-11-21T01:28:00.008-05:00

New BFF's Flaming Man and Stace (I like to call her grandma, because that's what her niece calls her) discovered they had something in common. And never in a million years would I have guessed what that was.

Here they are preparing for 'IT.'

No, it's not this:

But Racey Stacey did get a kick out of that.

So here we go . . .

But then Kyle would not stop.

And it got weird.

Guys, did I mention I'm in Love?

2011-11-16T03:49:00.009-05:00

I'm in love with these two as a couple:

And separately:

My Persian Princess and her Flaming Man (you know, 'cause he's super hot) are like two healing gurus who fill you with love and peace. Even in super sketchy bars. On a Sunday.

Seriously, I woke up in a bad place on Sunday and by the end of the night it was the happiest day of my life.

I love when HotMan throws me around like last night's trash.

I mean, like a tiny footless doll.

(We had to do a re-do for modesty's sake.)

Bek is one lucky girl.

And Kyle is the luckiest *&^%$^&! ever to $*&%@ walk the earth

because he has a *&^#$ goddess for a GF.

Guys, it's me again

2011-11-14T03:47:00.007-05:00

So the family had to pack up our house last week and along with the severe back pain we all have, there were some great discoveries.

This is a Christmas story where I look liked this:

(so you know who to picture through out this tale).

Christmas Eve 198_, the year the Cabbage Patch kid came out. My dad was out really late that night and when he came home I remember him telling my mom, in a proud but exhausted voice, "I got it."

The next day I got a gift with this nutzo-looking doll in it.

I half-heartedly said "Thank you."

I had no idea that this was the hottest toy of the year. Nay, the decade. I liked pretty dolls that looked like princesses, not thin-lipped, dimpled, yarny haired dolls.

My mom pulled me aside to tell me that this was a very expensive, in-demand doll and my dad went to a lot of work to procure one.

So naturally, I thanked him more profusely

and eventually asked for 2 more.

(As you can see, I had a type.)

My mom asked me if I wanted to keep them for my future children, but this pretty much decided their fate:

I was creeped out then and I am WAY more creeped out now.

Sorry dolls.

2011-11-10T15:39:00.002-05:00

Now THIS is what I call perfect cross-pollination.

No wait, it's perfect synergy.

No, no forget all that -- it's a perfect symbiotic relationship.

YEAH, that's what it is.

Congratulations~!

2011-11-07T17:30:00.012-05:00

LOOK WHAT I FOUND !

Amber acquiring a hat like this can only mean ONE THING......

Hint # 1) ....

Give Up?...
...
..
.

CONGRATULATIONS ON WINNING THE ROLE OF "FAGIN"

in the iconic movie

We are all so proud of you.

Guys, it's me, the real AM

2011-11-07T00:03:00.003-05:00

Ok, I'll talk a break from Ambertines so my little Monkey can do whatever it is she likes to do with this place.

But she only gets this month of this year. It ends at 11/11.

In the meantime I will be HERE.

Happy Novamber: Ambekah style

2011-11-06T20:56:00.010-05:00

Forget Brangelina.

This is a real love story...

This is what we call one hot piece of Ambekah :

You know how hanging out with some people is "just like Christmas?..."

Well mademoiselles & messieurs ~ I give you

EXHIBIT A) The requisite "I'm A STAR" pose

(cue Frank Sinatra's "The Lady's A Star" song here)

& Once Again~

The Larger Than Fireworks STAR JUMP pose reserved only for Christmas when I'm so excited baby Jesus is coming!! ...

(Yes, that is her leash in the corner, and that is what happens when she escapes)

AND NOW ~ Time For

EXHIBIT B) Her Best dance from "Gypsy" impression saved only for Christmas usually?......CHECK!

& Once Again ~

Her best Gypsy Dance impression live, in action, Christmas Morning:

{cue Gypsy music....}

"Mama doesn't care, mama's letting loose
Mama's got the stuff, mama's let go, mama, mama...."
(*NO REINDEER were hurt in the making of this shot)
((They were shot, stuffed, and painted gold before hand))

Yes, it is indeed "Christmas Morning" every time the super power known as Ambekah unite.

Would this birthday girl jump into ANYTHING with her partner in crime..?

Double Yes.

Who knows - They might just take the plunge!

Happy Novamber*.

((*if you have any incriminating photos of said birthday girl and yourself having way more fun than legally permitted, do tell - email the right sister and your tip will be kept anon))

Happy Novamber Bichas

2011-11-03T20:05:00.005-04:00

Me-bow-chica-bow-OWWWWWWWW !!!!!!!!

HAPPY NOVAMBER BICHAS~!~! aYAYAYAY!

(That's Alien speak for

"HAPPY NOVAMBER BICHAS!! aYAYAYAY!")

tHAT'S Right- It's our favorite time of year....

Get Ready.

Note: this post was not posted by the birthday girl.

She might even ask me to take this down, but if you read her March posts, then you know this take-over is completely justified.

Yep, I'm Shameless

2011-11-01T17:55:00.008-04:00

No, wait, I can explain.

When I came home last night Nephew was already done trick-or-treating. I didn't think he had enough candy (he shares with me) so I convinced him to go out again before people turned their lights out. Except his parents were not keen on leaving again, so I volunteered. Because I'm a great auntie like that (plus did I mention I get half?).

I know what you're thinking, 'But did you have to spend the whole night explaining you were Lydia Deetz from Beetlejuice sans Beetlejuice?'

I just told people I was a Mexican Mae West.

Hey guys . . .

2011-10-31T04:07:00.008-04:00

. . .Recognize these people?

No?

How about now?

Yep, that's Roommate and me on the stairwell in NY.

And this is us on the stairwell in LA.

I was worried about going as Lydia Deetz sans Beetlejuice and then Roommate pointed out that his nickname is 'Juice' and he should probably go with me as BeetleJuice. I had to admit he had a point.

Once he was in complete costume, I was worried that people would mistake Beetlejuice for the Joker circa 2008.

I think someone (read: Christopher Nolan) is a Tim Burton fan. . .

Luckily no one thought he was the Joker.

And Roommate was such a good sport about being in-character-spastic and dancing all night.

I thought my costume was soooooo obvious. . .

. . . but when I was sans Beetlejuice some funny people asked if I was PJ Harvey, Amy Winehouse, or Bride of Frankenstein (to name a few).

I get it.

I have a strong nose.

Now stop being annoying all you 'slutty nerd' girls from the dance - you all guessed wrong! And why did all of you have the same costume? Boring!

Guys, remember how much I love the D.I?

2011-10-28T03:38:00.011-04:00

I made a quick trip to the D.I. yesterday (in honor of Halloween and of course they had everything I needed) and it reminded me of all the good times I've spent at various Deseret Industries.

One year, Stacey and I decided we'd use the Secret and buy our future wedding gowns there.

Last December I went with Nephew and made him switch jackets with me. Nothing feels better than fitting into an 8-year-old's jacket.

This is a photo of my sisters and I in front of Grammy's favorite location: Provo, UT. She'd go and walk around for hours and everyone knew her.

There was one story where a friend picked her up from the hospital and Grammy was in a night gown and coat and asked to go to the D.I. When her friend objected because of her outfit Grammy took some scissors, cut off a good 8 inches to her night dress so the coat covered it and said 'I'm ready to go now.'

I took little Kitten to several different D.I.'s around UT,

this one was clearly the sweatiest location.

Speaking of my Little Kitten, my LA sister sent her some Missoni for Target accessories, knowing photos of Kitty in Missoni would be the only thing that would cheer me up when I was blue.

It was almost worth being sad. No, it was totally worth being sad!

And did you know Kitten's mom gave her her first haircut?

I am properly obsessed with this one. I'm dying to hear what her speaking voice will sound like one day! Like you know, when she's 30.

Guys, I've posted this before but . . .

2011-10-24T05:46:00.005-04:00

Well, I was thinking, maybe THIS would be the best costume ever -

since it's clearly the best movie ever.

Or if I want to go the route of best couples ever -

there's always this one:

Just because it'd be fun to be in character all night.

And to find my other-half to this costume all I'd have to do is go to the dentist for a root canal (and be sure and take the drugs they offer).

Argh, I want a kid so bad

2011-10-22T02:36:00.004-04:00

You know, for the costumes . . .

Kids really do get to have more fun at Halloween. Just ask me in 1983. I could not have had more fun that night.

Hmmm, maybe I don't need a kid since its just for that one night a year.

I'll just hire one.

A cute one, though.

Guys, I love technology

2011-10-16T16:24:00.003-04:00

OK, I'm being ungrateful. I should be happy that video chat lets me hear and almost see my god daughter. I mean, if this were the 80's I'd be freaking out. But Little Kitten is so gosh darn adorable and I only get to see her a few times a year, so I think my sarcasm is completely justified.

So get it together Mac Book/ Video Chat / Anything else that makes Kitten so pixelated.

Guys, can we talk about my favorite holiday?

2011-10-11T20:57:00.017-04:00

No! Not Thanksgiving/ My Birthday!

(But I do love dressing as a pilgrim.)

My OTHER favorite holiday, Halloween.

I start planning my costume at least a month before the Big Day and it usually hits in a moment of genius.

Let's review . . .

From 2002- 2005 I was either Hermione or a student from Gryffindor. I know this hints at a lack of creativity, but I was so obsessed with Harry Potter and English boarding schools, this was the only thing that made me happy. (My last year in this costume I attempted to wear it to work and realized magazines in NY are not fun like that.)

Back in 2005, Monkey was a geisha and my cousin came dressed as Me complete with a mask of my face, which I carried around most of the night. It made me feel funny. (Note: Digital cameras didn't exist in 2002 so there is no record of that year.)

In 2006 I was in love with Sofia Coppola's movie and decided to go as Marie Antoinette. This was fun to sew together because the only thing I bought was a white clown wig that I had to reshape to create a masterpiece.

In 2007 I was Frida Kahlo and again I only had to buy one thing:

the blue monkey.

In 2008 I was Hester Prynne. This was a children's costume I bought months before Halloween because it was on sale. You never know when you'll need a medieval dress for an 8-year-old. Weeks later I realized all I needed to do was wear my pilgrim hat and sew on an 'A' and Sha-Zam! Puritanical America!

In 2009 I was Karen O. Clearly. And I didn't need to buy one thing.

Impressed?

In 2010 I was the white swan to my friend Rachel's Black Swan. Rachel let me be tres bossy with her; I got to pick out her outfit and paint her face (plus I wanted to be the white swan and she let me put her in black.)

This year I was thinking of skipping Halloween altogether.

But then I remembered this:

Which led me to this:

And I ended up here:

Lydia Deetz.

Should I finally cut my bangs?

Guys, did you know I love Duane Reade?

2011-10-10T20:39:00.015-04:00

I love Duane Reade and not in an ironic way.

I genuinely love it.

And I loved it before they all got posh and scape-age.

For those of you who haven't been to America -- Duane Reade is the greatest drugstore ever born. Holly Golightly had Tiffany's and I had Duane Reade.

So the last time I went to America I made a special trip to the new Duane Reade at 40 Wall.

They promised to make all my dreams come true.

With a promise like that I knew I had to share it with Sweet D.

I knew we were in for a treat when I saw the grand entrance

and the escalator showed us exactly how good we looked.

And who greets us?

Oh just this gem of a robot hologram lady.

Gem and the Holograms told us where to get the

important stuff, like fresh flowers.

Where am I, Chelsea Market?

Seriously, no need to trek over to 9th Ave

if I can get Fat Witch Brownies at 40 Wall.

There were so many food options but I actually wasn't

that hungry that day. I'll have to go back.

Di partook of the food and I read the about the stock market.

Then we went upstairs to the Beauty Bar and asked a computer what colors were best for us. Di found out she was naturally beautiful as is and I should buy red lipstick.

But the best part ever was that they had my favorite hard-to-find shade of nail color. Lapiz of Luxury by essie and I bought up to two bottles.

Guys, I might be back

2011-10-08T02:34:00.023-04:00

I had to take a break for a while. But not from the internet or blogging, I've been Blogging a ton. Yeah, I haven't been able to stop - I do it everyday. Just not here.

So first I need to catch you up on a few things:

I discovered estate sales are the perfect place for birthday gifts.

Found out my mom is a little competitive and doesn't mind getting her finger dirty.

Someone's apology flowers met a sad demise.

I discovered why America is awesome

Cheesey-puffs bigger than a smart phone.

This happened and it made me mad

and fascinated me at the same time.

Come on!

@lisa decided to embrace the honey-badger inside her.

My little Monkey took a cue from me

And moved to CA with 20+ army bags.

(Mich's genius idea worked for two different moves!)

You can buy the best stuff at Costco overseas. Like a toddler.

Then I got to babysit the toddler and I taught her to tear up books and toilet paper.

We had a family mini-vacation.

And I found out what happens when you leave your nieces alone with your room key.

I learned that floods aren't as fun as they look

because they are so filthy.

Thanks a lot giant wave from New Zealand.

Guys, maybe I do like Alisa's cat

2011-09-16T04:24:00.001-04:00

Um, this is called 'DC: More Than Monuments'

2011-09-08T19:44:00.008-04:00

More Than Monuments.

I'll say . . . ?

Seriously, these were the Only photos in the Exhibit.

Guys, I have a new blog

2011-09-05T01:32:00.002-04:00

http://twigandtree.blogspot.com

And it's not like I love ambertines less, I just love Twig+Tree more.

Maybe I should move to Holland - 400 years ago

2011-09-03T14:04:00.007-04:00

Hot, right?

Guys, can someone please explain this?

2011-08-29T04:36:00.004-04:00

I'll give you a closer look:

Was there something in history that they didn't teach us in school? Is the queen crazy funny?

Guys, Best Present Ever . . .

2011-08-23T18:38:00.006-04:00

+PLUS+

=EQUALS=

Our Darling Mich painted this today and it makes me happier than chocolate-covered honey combs.

2011-08-23T00:27:00.001-04:00

So according toFindYourSpot.com these are the top 6 cities I should move to based on my likes, hobbies, passions, etc.

Guys, I love funny ads

2011-08-23T00:22:00.008-04:00

Live Every Week . . .

2011-08-04T14:20:00.002-04:00

Guys, you know who's hot?

2011-07-26T02:34:00.003-04:00

My feisty friend Rita who came to see me for 18 hours in May.

OK, OK she didn't come to see me but I did get to see her.

Ok maybe I didn't get to see her.

But she did come to California once.

Well, maybe she doesn't talk to me- but it's just cause she's busy.

She's busy and she does't remember me sometimes.

In fact I don't even know her - I just found this hot photo on the internet.

Why cats are ridiculous . . .

2011-06-28T02:43:00.008-04:00

Guys, I think we all know how I feel about Cats.

They are idiots.

Especially this one:

If you are going to try and eat my flowers

at least have the decency to do it correctly

And not Start to eat them and then

forget what you were doing in the first place.

Idiots!

Oh yes, I am glad you asked.

These flowers were sent to me by Senor Copper

And the best part was

they looked even more lovely after they died.

I might start a business that only sends dead flowers.

Guys, I camp now

2011-06-23T13:10:00.025-04:00

I went camping for the second time recently and it was just nuts.
Giant spiders, skunk attacks, cooking meat over an open flame!

It was intense.

This was our tent

No! Come on! I'm joking, it wasn't this posh.

I acutally didn't take photos but it looked A LOT like this:

(sans bikes)
as you can see - no wool rug.

Seany (I was trying to convince him to let me call him Sunny, as in 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia' but he wasn't into that) and I went to El Capitan in Santa Barbara 'cause we really wanted to rough it.

And this is what we wore:

(Chester Copperpot is giving me his best 'I hate this take the dumb photo already' face -a look I became accustomed to ignoring)

OK so this isn't your typical camping trip - I can't fool you guys anymore.

We got there and El Captian had a three-course sit-down dinner waiting for us by the fireside (and yes I ate every meal sitting on Darlington's lap)
Hmm, why Yes, I'm glad you noticed -- those salad bowls ARE made out of parmesan cheese. I kind of freaked out over the cheese bowls.

And the flowers.

Such pretty flowers! And they were everywhere.

When we went hiking, this is what Secular Pants took with him:

and it made me want to give him $1 for being awesome

I don't think Puppy Eyes reads this blog so I can post my favorite look

My scarf and his trusty

'please stop taking photos and let me eat something'

look

Actually, he was quite keen to letting me put my accessories on him

As long as I let him eat after.

Monsieur Cotton Tail was such a good sport about letting us go into town when I wanted to eat AND posing the way I asked with only a hint of sarcasm in his eyes

As you can see it was a great success

AND if I ever ask if I can call you 'Sunny' I suggest you let me or I will think of other/more awesome things to call you.

Guys, remember Cinco de Mayo?

2011-06-06T22:25:00.001-04:00

I forgot it this year - which was really sad cause I live in California now where they know how to properly celebrate it.

I do love me a good mariachi band

Guys, get ready to laugh and be so mad

2011-06-02T14:42:00.005-04:00

i know, right?

this map of NY is so insane!

wait - why aren't you freaking out?

oh you need a close up:

ahhh! i mean, come on!

AND it's from a kid's store.

i respect trying to trick kids with inaccurate learning tools and
i know Inwood is insignificant but Spanish Harlem?!

like i'm really going to eat my tacos in the East River?!

Guys, I am the worst

2011-05-31T19:30:00.006-04:00

I know, I know you thought THIS LADY was the worst but really it's me.

My little Kitten

was sick and I didn't even know!

I didn't call

or check on the blog she writes (it's a secret 'cause she's underage)

or email her

during Any of it!

Hmmm, I know I've asked this before but am I allowed to post other peoples' kittens on the internet?

What if they are the cutest little kitten in the world?

Then can I?

What if the kitten can't talk?

Then for sure I can, right?
As soon as she tells me to take them down I will.

Meanwhile, while we wait for Kitten to sue me, WATCH THIS

Magic Land or The Gentleman's Sports Club

2011-05-09T18:20:00.006-04:00

So when you hear 'Sportman's Warehouse' do you think of croquet and badminton?

Cause I do.

I think of sportman-ship and that's something Gentlemen have.

You probably don't think of THIS, right?

Cause I wouldn't have.

Anyway, I should have know when this Welcomed me to the store:

Hey what is that anyway?

Oh, a creepy man pointing a gun? Good.

I thought it was something menacing at first.

And what are those guns pointed at?

How bad-ace is this store when they are willing to shoot their own decor?

It's a blurry photo cause its trying to escape for its life.

OK so its not a gentlemanly store but they did have their own Archery department (that's classy right?)

And dancing kittens

And an homage to Prince

There was something very colonial-primitive about a layaway program for pistols

Hmmm, maybe not colonial - our founding fathers were all rich dudes.

Maybe it's more Andrew Jackson

And if anything is going to great me as I leave a store I want it to be this guy.

Guys, you know what kills me about this?

2011-05-02T04:24:00.005-04:00

The fact that nothing we are doing is illegal or even questionable. In fact - considering where I was - it might have been weird if I didn't hold a gun in my hand. (More on that magical place tomorrow)

Don't worry - there were no bullets around.

I actually couldn't even release the thingie that makes it shoot.

Yeah, I can speak gun.

Guys, wanna know why I don't blog?

2011-04-21T04:30:00.015-04:00

It's cause I stopped taking photos.

I can't even take credit for this gem but I know you assume I took it

Life is passing me by.

I looked down at my speed-stick thing on my car & it said this:

But that meant I missed watching it go from 99999 to 100000

And if you know how I am with numbers you know this is a big deal.

what's happening to me?

I know what it is -- I need to stop google imaging Bennifer 1.0 photos

and re-fall in love with my blog again.

You remember

Di and I would fight and you knew about it

Monkey and I would coordinate our outfits and you saw it

Mich and I would go somewhere far for no reason at all & tell everyone

And Stacey and I would do whatever it was that we did

Even if you didn't want to see us do Rock Band - I videoed it & you saw it

Well - I might have kept that one private.

There was so much ice-skating! My gosh! All that ice!

And in honor of Arrested Development I always tried to blend in

That's it - I'm going to more theme-d parties if its the last thing I do

- if not for myself - then at least for this blog

And don't tell me it's cause al these things happened in NY.

Well if you did I would see your point.

But listen - I am going to do the same on the Best Coast.

Starting NOW

Tayebi Sisters + 1 Husband + Downtown + Conversation with Tina Fey + Steve Martin + Eating at 11PM.

BOOM!

Guys, its like no big deal now

2011-04-10T05:24:00.001-04:00

Except that it is

OK, fine! I'll blog one more time

2011-04-07T05:23:00.022-04:00

Guys, my new schedule is preventing me from doing important things like blog about myself.

Which is crazy cause I need to tell you about the time I followed a yellow brick road . . .

Yes, a psychedelic yellow brick road with my trusty smart phone and favorite bag

And there were poppies!

So many poppies

In two different indoor spaces

I wanted to lie down and take a nap

But alas, no time cause I had to celebrate this Kitten-Monkey's birthday

And in honor of her - I wore wild-cat-themed outfits all weekend

And play cat-themed games

Oh, you thought I was in Oz?

Oh no, we were here:

(don't look too close, mom)

The land of Performance Artists, of course

And old friends

And Mormons

[Ok, but seriously, how hot is Marie Osmond?!

You thought I was going to say Donny,

but come on! that goes without saying.]

Before. . .wondering if the elaborate poster will live up to its hype

After . . . and guess what - it was even better than you could ever imagine

There was seriously so much Art I kept asking, 'what am i in Paris?'

To which the answer was always 'Yes, yes you are.'

And furniture! I had to beg mom to not steal this scrabble-themed table.

I'm surprised (relieved) she didn't take it apart to play a few games.

And did I mention I wore my Blue Suede Shoes

in honor of Elvis and by Elvis I mean You.

NOTE: Although wearing your special hat from France seems like a good idea for a formal night on the town, it's not so great in this city because you will get meowed at by drunk and not so drunk people. Although Donny did grab my ears when he jumped on our table (after he high-fived Monkey and shook my hand) which was thrilling enough to be worth it.

Hey, did you ever see that movie The Hangover?

Me neither

but I think this is what it would have looked like:

Happy Birthday Monkey Sister!

Sorry I didn't devote the whole month to you like I normally do.

But its OK, cause turning 30 is no biggie, right?

And guys, when I say 'essentail' what i mean is 'essenTail'

2011-03-16T00:44:00.001-04:00

Guys, I'm not being vulgar - these are all essentail

2011-03-15T04:16:00.002-04:00

Guys, it's time for Interpretive Dances!

2011-03-05T02:54:00.006-05:00

This is one is called 'The Daddy Mac will make you . . .'

Oh yes, here is the popular dance, 'Kickin' It Old School' or 'Wasn't Me She Was Foolin Cause SHE Knew What She Was Doin When She Told Me How To Walk This Way'

This one was entitled '80s Aerobic -- You CAN Fly!'

shake it little momma lemme see you do the Jane Fonda

And finally 'The Golden Girls.'

This was an especially challenging piece,

as Bek had to be the aging but young and sexy at heart Blanche

and I was Sofia, of course.

As you can see I am a huge fan of the brilliant radio station KDAY 93.5

Guys, remember when we became one with Nature?

2011-03-01T01:08:00.009-05:00

I usually like to look like a geisha when I hike, remember?

But Bek wouldn't let me hike the way I like

so I had to wipe the sunblock on my face using my shirt.

Happy Bek?

Look, if you want to call me Tiger Lily i will Not be upset with you

Becoming one with nature was like a prize

But our real prize was the Mens waiting at the top

Guys, it's still Winter, huh?

2011-02-25T01:15:00.008-05:00

I have been seriously missing NY Winter. No really, I'm not being sarcastic. I have been missing the snow and 6 flights of stairs and hats! My gosh! I miss the hats!

So, to cure myself I went here:

And I had to do disgusting stuff like play tennis

My parents were there and did that thing they do where they

reserve a giant, fancy room for a small dinner party.

They also tried to get me drunk or OD on sugar. We couldn't decide if that was too much sugar or alcohol in that drink. To play it safe, I did NOT drive home that night.

There was a lot of eating on the trip

Actually, there was a lot of feeding people.

There was so much matching going on.

This was my attempt to be casual.

Unfortunately I chose a night where we went to a fancy restaurant.

So as you can see I was cured of my missing Wet, Cold, American, NY Winters

I was also cured of my paralyzing fear of grabbing hands, as you can see.

Not even the least bit affected by the hand that I later had to stab.

Guys, like I said, I'm in to culture

2011-02-23T03:41:00.004-05:00

And I'm into introducing my nieces and nephews into said culture

Only the finest for my family

Guys, did you know I appreciate the arts?

2011-02-09T04:27:00.009-05:00

I especially love expounding on the topic to the masses.

I also love matching my shopping bags to my hats.

Can't wait for my orange hat one day.

Well, you'd think this was just another average couple taking a holiday card

but really it was performance art at its finest.

In my head they started to sing Elton John's "Step Into Christmas" but actually that was just me singing it behind them. I really did stand next to them and sing (ask Bek).

Ahh, the best kind of art, art about cats sans the involvement of an actual cat

I love it when people bring art into their homes

or just outside their homes

Not only did Banksy get fancy security / protection on this wall -

he got a lovely sign explaining to everyone why this piece was important.

In Chinese.

Not to be outdone, Bek appreciated the fine arts in her own special way

Guys, did I mention we did yoga?

2011-01-30T21:39:00.005-05:00

So we'd be strong like this:

Looks like it worked

Guys, I went to San Fran once

2011-01-26T14:54:00.016-05:00

Have you met Jer?

(no! it's Not Michael Showalter)

He's a saint.

Why?

He went to SF with Bek and I and put up with this:

I don't even know why I made him do this but I did

He had to put up with my constant Fonzie impersonation

Guys, I need to confess something

2011-01-24T01:59:00.007-05:00

New photos have surfaced from a wedding in Fall of 2010

with Me as a complete drunkard:

Apparently if you take me to a wedding with the Persian Princess, feed me loads of sugar and turn the music up really loud, madness ensues where I do ridiculous things that I have no recollection of the next morning

I won't even tell you what I was dancing to - let's just say it was the Black Eyed Peas - and somehow at some point I even did air sitar which I'm not proud of. Never mind putting those chemical (glow) sticks in my mouth. . .

Guys, I didn't even tell you about the other awesome things in Wales . . .

2011-01-23T03:08:00.013-05:00

. . .Coffee mugs for smart people

. . . Perfect wedding presents

. . . Helter skelters

. . . Niall riding his first Ferris Wheel

(now all we have to go is get him in a car & he'll be complete)

. . . Giving Niall the best birthday gift ever

Which Kitten had to get a good look at before approving it

She finally OKed it & was happy to be next to her Uncle Bob

(doesn't everyone need an Uncle named Bob?

esp. if you're from the UK)

OK, I admit Kitten was the most awesome part

Ugh! I hate being so predictable

Unlike Mich who decided to learn how to change a diaper using an instructional video online -- she's always full of surprises, that girl

Guys, Remember Caerdydd?

2011-01-16T01:23:00.006-05:00

Oh, you don't speak Welsh?

So sad.

So I went to Cardiff (or Caerdydd, of course) to visit my Little Kitten. And to celebrate Thanksgiving (I went back to our roots for a truly authentic feel).

We spent time with the [fairy] Godfather

And had a grown up meal where we insisted Kitten sit like a proper person

It was an amazing vacation where I got to dress Kitten like a Matador and no one stopped me

Guys, when is it going to be Shark week already?

2011-01-13T13:57:00.004-05:00

Cause I'm ready!

I'm also ready to wear makeup as part of my New Year's Resolution.

Guys, did you know I love trees?

2011-01-11T21:58:00.014-05:00

Joyce Kilmer had it right - Trees are awesome (thanks mom for making us memorize a poem every summer).
So I used to walk every morning with my sis and awesome BFF Carolyn and we'd see all these crazy trees.

Doesn't @lisa look glamourous when she walks?

This tree needed some discipline - it was doing just whatever it wanted

This rabies-infested thing lived in a tree and wasn't even scared of us

(he better watch out - I'll give it a piece of gum --

there are no camp counselors around anymore)

I love trees that are so wild they need to be tethered

(or maybe it needs ties because it's too lazy to stand up straight?)

This tree was tired of being hit constantly

This tree was being used as a scrapbook, which borders on abuse to me,

but that's just me

I guess this trip was really important for us to know about

Then of course there was Mr. Tree Man

No? You don't know about him yet?

He's my magical boyfriend who I'm actually just friends with

Guys, let's go back to what I do best . . .

2011-01-08T19:16:00.017-05:00

...Talk about ME

OK, Did you know I had 1 month of parties when I turned really old?

The parents surprised me

With dinner at Mama D's, Jeremy and milk chocolate honeycomb

in that order

Then this lady threw me a party in my home town of Yorba Linda

she had a fancy cake which I liked cause I always dress fancy.

Fancy or homeless -- one of the two.

I had to share it with this guy:

But i didn't mind cause he promised to braid my hair

Then this couple threw me a day-long party in Wales 'cause that's where I celebrated the actual blessed day -- and by blessed I mean cursed

They tricked me into telling them my favorite breakfast food and then surprised me with breakfast in bed

why yes they did get my Crunchies for breakfast (AKA milk chocolate honeycomb)

And my gift was I got to dress this little Kitten anyway I wanted

And Mich made homemade passion fruit macarons as my cake

My friend Lucie

threw me a surprise pizza - pink cake party in NY

And she invited my favorite NY people

Lucie was a dream about not frosting the pink cake -- just the way I like ('cause pink frosting is just taking my sophisticated cake too far).

So this is what happens when you try to avoid your birthday.

Somente em Brasil. . .

2010-12-18T01:13:00.001-05:00

http://www.welovead.com/en/works/details/98aBklxw

Forget Hammurabi, it's Hamford's code that's the rub...

2010-12-16T00:10:00.019-05:00

So maybe if you work for a law school on the east coast

(which shall remain nameless for legal reasons)

-where shall hereon after be refered to as "Hamford Law"-

You'd learn somethings quite quickly...

...exponentially so...

...Like how seriously they take the gag order around here:

Even giraffes aren't silent enough! Twiga here knows what she did.

But look on the bright side~ At least with any stearn legal institution, you KNOW they must be "an equal opportunity employer;"

cuz Heyyyyyyyyyy~

Even the telephone is down with the swirl!

[clueless people click here: http://www.redlasso.com/ClipPlayer.aspx?id=95174b5e-f1db-4478-bebb-26369b13e056]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Disclaimer: These are not the aforementioned "photos worth waiting for" from Dec. 8th post. Just a visual triscuit in the meantime. Keep cool my bebez.

Y blogger.com stinks*

2010-12-08T00:33:00.004-05:00

For the past 3 days, i get a "400 bad request" window- each time i try to upload a photo.

Standby...technical difficulties.

Good thing the photos are worth waitin 4.

Meanwhile...guess who's comin to town:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jyCfRHumHU

(*Yes, you may read that as "And blogger stinks" or "why blogger stinks" both work just fine)

Soulmates:

2010-12-05T00:39:00.007-05:00

1. Two individuals who are comrades and share a common path or soul development with one another as best friends (even if in your head).
2. These relationships are sometimes as rewarding as that of the twin flame.
3. (singular) Someone with whom you share an eternal affinity.

See Why These Two are "Soulmates..."

Starting @ 5:20 of this reel:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRnG8UEhSKE

Their luv is 4reel.

You can't make this $h!+ up.

Christmas Came Early This Year

2010-12-04T23:20:00.003-05:00

No, seriously...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSnR5S9vb6w

Vamp you.
Vamp you very much.

Keep Cool my bichos

2010-12-03T23:34:00.008-05:00

(@ 1:05 )

http://www.tbs.com/video/conan.jsp?oid=236630&eref=sharethisUrl

Novamber Weather in Deçamber!!

2010-12-02T23:42:00.007-05:00

Ah, Thanksgiving; where age-old traditions are created, honored, or in our case innovated!

A handful of years ago, was born ours...

Lil minx: Let's Dress up as Pilgrims & Indians!
Lil sheep, i mean sister: Okay!

But by the 5th year or so~

Lil minx: Time to dress up Pilgrims & Indians!
Lil sis: Okay. . .

If by "Injuns 'n Pilgrims" you mean . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Vampires!

Happy Deçamber Bichos!!!

2010-12-01T00:05:00.009-05:00

On the first day of Christmas my true Mitch gave to us:
This papparazzi shot!

You'll never guess who she met in Wales-
On a ferris wheel of all places. . . .
That's right kids,

it's . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Queen Rania of Jordan!

You may recognize her in the more royal formal threads like so:

Sing it with me now:

Rab.

-ian Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiights!

Like Arabian Dayyyyyyyyyys! . . .

Why didn't Whistler Paint THIS?!

2010-11-30T21:59:00.003-05:00

His loss.

You Said It !

2010-11-29T00:29:00.006-05:00

Compiled @ Amber's 2008 mod birthday by guests in attendance:
[ http://britpopvsmod.blogspot.com/ ]

Top Ten Ways You Know You’ve Spotted Amber if:
1. “You see some cute girl, wearing a cute dress and hat, while doing some cute little dance.”

2. “You are overwhelmed by her hot sexy dance moves.”

3. “You see a flowered vintage dress over black lace stockings, topped with a pinstriped waistcoat, and gold chains with a jaunty cap upon her head!”

4. “There are at least 5 naked male models drooling behind a sexy brunette in a darling hat and peacoat.”

5. “While in Sweden, you stumble across a one-person anti-child-vampire-porn protest.”

6. “There is a Brit Pop birthday a ragin’ and it’s not Mitch’s.”

7. “You see a lass with a big smile on her face and dark locks of hair topped of by a sparkling flapper's headpiece.”

8. “It’s Mary-Kate! No- it’s Ashley Olsen! Wait- It’s Amber!! The girl they both copy anyways.”

9. All you see is a purse moving, but no body behind/around it because it’s bigger than the person carrying it.

10. “There is some band you’ve never heard of playing as you read this.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Feel Free to add your best Amberism here-
Comment now! Now ! Now!

operators are not standing by.
so don't wait for them.

Di Hard Friends

2010-11-27T23:42:00.028-05:00

When Amber met Diane . . .

It was love at first comediane:

Do you Demetri Martin?

Heckyes! & Michael Ian Black!

Taco Party?!

Oh Mommy, i just peed my pants.

And the rest is herstory. . .

"Lesbifriends" - Anon. 2009

-BUT WAIT-

Who would play these 2 in the movie of their lives?

How about:

Becuz one is always 1/2 naked on the floor, and the other directs everybody.

Kidding!

How about:

Miss Coppola & Le Material Girl

Pourquoi one makes beautiful art, and the other sports American Apparel wkout outfits better than Chrissy on 3's Company whilst Madonna copies her.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

[Do you have Amberlicious photos that prove you're tighter than tight?
Ever wonder who would play you in the movie of Lovamber&Shirley?
Then send us your pics now!]

Happy AMBERday ! ! !

2010-11-26T00:29:00.017-05:00

Check out the streamers on this one:
(i'm talkin about the bike sickos)

So pathetic when posers try to immitate Amberfection...
(yes, that's Amber+perfection)

Ahem...Somebody should turn this faucet OFF. It's been done before. Beat it lady.

We know you are havin a rockin' birthday in Wales, Miss Pretty in Pink

(So sad when babies get sloshed & lose a shoe...

cuz they're extra tiny / harder to find)

Happy Birthday to our favorite wild & crazy girl !
(no, not your doppleganger lodestar)

Congratulations on completing 1 of your most eventful years yet-

And we can't wait to see what the next one brings!!

[I think pippy long socks here is telling you:

The opporunities are W I D E open]

[As wide as her . . . heart]

[[no matter what day it is!]]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMBIE
FROM ALL OF US~!

(Minors and Legal)

Each step you've taken in life has led up to this point. Not by mistake, not by coincidence, nor mere obligation to the chronology of time. Everything you've done has only increased the depth to which your sling shot of experience is pulled. And ready to fire.

The only question is where you want to fly...

...Watchout World Here Comes the Sun.

And she is locked & loaded

Happy ThanksAmber Everybody ! !

2010-11-25T11:32:00.012-05:00

We are ThankFul For the Ambie Who....
Hits the dancefloor w/ us:

Helps us get ready for church:

Takes us for long walks in secret parks:

Plays the Black/White Swan better than Natalie Hershlag:

Is our Mary Poppins twin:

Gets rid of anyone ruining the family picture:

Happy ThanksAmber!!

Amber's New Best Friend: Diane!

2010-11-20T18:05:00.009-05:00

Yes, that Diane.
(cuz one can never have too many famous Diane friends...
Cannon? Check.
Keaton?.....Double Check)

No, that was not an earthquake today--
It was just the supernova meeting of these two icons:

Diane: Are we wearing almost the same thing?...
Amber: [[Yes, *but not in the stalker sense; just the separated at birth sense, my beloved sweet Woody Allen Muse]]

Amber: uh...IT'S OKAY~! I'm your doppleganger!!

Diane: Oh goood, good, I thought I was gonna have to call the cops Again.

Amber: No, no, let's not resort to that schadenfreude, shall I get your number to discuss Tolstoy, turtlenecks, and Tennyson?

Diane: How alliterative of you- you meant turtlenecks at the beach, right?

Amber: Oh, of course. That's my favorite swimsuit too- with gloves if i could!

Diane: Okay, you've been reading those fan magazines. . .

Amber: No, it's for my job, I just naturally gravitate to victorian style and love your sense of je ne sais ...prude .

And then the earth caved in.

Happy Nov@@rica Everybody~!~!

2010-11-20T01:16:00.004-05:00

That's Right-

Just when NovAmber couldn't get any better-

It goes & collides like an eclipse w/ NovAarica in a massive supernova 'o Awesome!

Behold, the other birthday girl this month w/ rockin style:
(...which she gets from her NY Aunties;)

No, literally, have you opened up your nyc bday pkg or what?!

That is, if she's not too busy starring in Sterling Knight movies, or changing the world with her award winning Reflections films. . .

Happy Birthday @@rica!

2010-11-19T02:43:00.002-05:00

http://www.nypost.com/p/blogs/popwrap/paul_wesley_QKgB4TJuXWkG787fMUH8TJ

Forget Kitty wants some candy*

2010-11-17T17:38:00.006-05:00

[* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuOc62x9cCc ]

Kitty wants some SLEEPY!!

Exhibit A: Even the coveted feather toy gets batted away in fRawwwRstration at this moment of exhaustion.

To quote one of Ambie's favorite poets...

"Pooour pussy.

Pooour pussycat."

-Right Said Fred

And U Thought Sunday Was Good*...(11/14)

2010-11-16T21:53:00.006-05:00

*No really, you did: Congratulations to everyone who made Amber's Sunday blog (11/14/10) the ALL-TIME Highest viewed post! We see you like your 2 scoops 'o Ambie, BUT...

Betcha didn't know our birthday girl was polish'...

'prone to becoming one w/ any unsuspecting pole.

No uptown 1 train is safe.

Kitty wants some candy

2010-11-15T02:47:00.009-05:00

Uh.. hellow... when i grow up, i want to be a cat:

[Note: That is a real cat. Not taxidermized. And I'm sure all animals involved were hurt]
[[Hurt, as in; offended it was put next to Ambie in this photo, which is about as rotten luck as standing next to halle berry on the red carpet.]]

No really...
See my ears? I mean, couture "hat" I bought in England?

(Yes, and "tasers" are just misunderstood sparkle wands)

Kitty wants some candy~ rrrrRRRAWR!!!

[Clueless people click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuOc62x9cCc ]

You're Welcome

2010-11-14T16:24:00.002-05:00

Inside the mind of a Serial Dresser

2010-11-13T14:54:00.013-05:00

Why? Why? Whyyyy? would a girl this hot chooooose the boy george look!?

(Even Rpatts looks befuddled by this trend, and he's seen them all!)

Let me break it down for you:

1) She sees the iconic Woody Alan film, "Annie Hall"
(& adopts Diane Keaton as her new Katherine Hepburn)

2) To us, the ignorant, it looks about as graceful as this clown ensemble:

To Amber, it looks like this in her head:

3) Years later, it trickles down to the peasants like Britney & Gwen...

And vuola!

Another "WTF/ androgenous fashion foward look?" becomes prêt-à-porter to the masses...

Or in other words: You've been Amber'd*.

[*A look so ahead of its time, the individual steamrolling it is seen as an anachronism, and often ostracized at the moment, before the world copies it years later.]

Just please Amber don't go for this look anytime soon:

Old School Ambie

2010-11-12T14:50:00.007-05:00

Move over Christie's! It's time for some priceless, never before seen, works of art from the Ambie Archives!!

{Pedophiles Stop Drooling}
{{You're a couple decades too late}}
"Gonna Catch Me A Man with This Net" (The Farm, VA. c.1982)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

And now ladies & genltemen, a rare print from the Ambie Archives we call:

"The first and last time Amber ever stepped foot inside a McDonald's"

...Clearly, she'd rather eat her own finger than a happy meal.

It really transcendentalizes our notions of Americana, and captures the essence of our young Joan of Arc here, don't you think?

(hmmm...how did the parents not see 10yrs of Vogue collecting above this one's closet?)

Gratuitous Hot Shots - Part Deux!!

2010-11-11T23:06:00.007-05:00

Hot Shots of Amber !!!!!!

La La La

Hot Shots of Amberrr

LA La Laaaaa

{That's my new song. It's gonna be a big big hit.}

"Hail Atlantis!"
-Donovan

Happy Gratuitous Hot Shots of Amber Day!! (bichos)!

2010-11-11T01:17:00.019-05:00

Who does the Halle Berry 'do better than Halle Berry ?!

Jet lag or not !

(She basically waltzed into a salon in Japan, didn't speak a word, pointed to a picture, & got even hotter)

Who does the Madonna cool white suit/fidora/in a limo YRS BEFORE Madonna's music vid!?

(poor Madge had to settle for a cowboy hat just to be "different")

Who makes watching TV @ the Delano look high fashion?!

Who does Miami beach better than Kate Moss?

(Why yes, that is an homage to the Kate Moss i-D cover, '93)

((how clever of you to notice))

Who DOES NOT WKOUT, looks BETTER in a BIKINI,

and makes anyone who does just look like Khloe Mandashian...

D@mn her.

Guess you can have your orchid, and eat it too.

Happy Gratuitous Hot Shots of Amber Day!

Brought to you by Novamber:

(Now in full throttle)

Amber The Family Girl -vs- Amber The Party Girl

2010-11-10T00:36:00.007-05:00

Ahhh, Amber the Family Girl:

Lets her family roll out the laminated calligraphy poster,
Lets us wear funny paper glasses,
Puts on her velour pink teddy bear ballerina sweatshirt with a 3D tutu on it,
Allows for all of us to "make a big deal" and feel "No. 1" on her list of entrusted confidants before. . . . . .

Amber The Party Girl eschews all of us for her real posse of rad bad girlz!

Just checkout those gang symbols disguised as "funny faces."

Can you guess which Amber is older???
*Family members are ineligible. Do not give hints away.

Cast Your Vote under comments now!

Amber the Trendsetter

2010-11-09T19:11:00.008-05:00

Guys, Ever wonder where 1/2 the 80's icons got their fab haircuts idea?...

That's right, Dorothy Hamil has our birthday girl to thank:

"Only 2 presents?! You know the blond doesn't count, right?"

Happy Birthday to the original high heels w/ sweat jumpsuit birthday girl:

& Happy NovAmber to the rest of us Bichos.